I get so many emails based on the concerns and fears that parents face. I love reading them, answering them, using them to develop further content in the hopes that one parent’s question could comfort thousands of other moms and dads facing the same challenges. Thank you for trusting me…and keep those messages coming. But this one thing I want you to remember when you are considering the problematic areas of your parenting:
Your heart is right, but your fear is not.
“I’m afraid of my daughter’s peers and the direction they may lead her…”
Your heart is right, mama. You are concerned and that concern needs to drive your efforts at leading your daughter in making good solid friendships…but being afraid will only stifle your creative answers and tells me you are relying on your own strength and wisdom to solve this issue rather than trusting that God is right there ready to provide good relationships. I know…because I was that mama too with that same concern and He quieted my fears and brought great friendships into the lives of my children.
“I’m afraid that by letting my baby cry I am making a mistake as a mom and my baby will feel unloved…”
Your heart is right, but your fear is not. You want desperately to get a few hours of sleep and teach baby that night-time equals sleepy time! And you want baby to know that you love him desperately but what everyone needs is some sleep…what’s wrong with that? Your fear that baby will feel unloved because you let him cry is completely irrational based on the lifetime of love he will receive from you! Your heart is right, you really want to do a good job! But your fear is not…Don’t be so afraid of the mistakes we are all bound to make on this journey called parenthood. Your lifetime of love will well cover over those mistakes. If nothing else, my family is living proof of that.
“I’m afraid because my child is doing poorly in school…”
Your heart is right, but your fear is not. You want your child to do well academically knowing that a solid education is vital. But letting fear control your decisions rather than truly getting to the bottom of WHY junior is doing poorly and then correcting the issues would be a waste of time. Never be afraid to face your challenges in parenting head on with solid communications and asking the tough questions of yourself, your family, and any institution of education.
Fear never motivates us to our greatest good — in any area of life — especially as parents. When you began to be afraid, just whisper the same prayer King David did so many years ago in the Psalms…I remember it from the Wee Sing Bible tapes that I had when Daly kay was just a baby…
“When I am afraid, I will trust you,
I will trust in you,
I will trust in you…
When I am afraid, I will trust in you…In God whose word I pray…”
And remember:
“God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a strong mind.” (1 Timothy 2:7).
Your heart is in the right place, moms and dads. You’re wanting to do the right thing — what’s best for you and your children. You just have to lean in and pray — trust that God will lead and guide you through every part of your parenting. But never let your fear make your decisions for you.
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