We have all been post partum, round and doughy (except for the very few…some of y’all who had a 10 pound baby and then fit back into size 2 short shorts three days after…you know who you are, yeah, SHUT UP! xoxoxo) ….
Or maybe you are a wee bit past post partum, and still carry a little bit of curve….
Maybe you have never been – and never will be – 5’10 and 120 pounds soaking wet…
Then this post is for you.
Let me ask you, is your husband still interested? INTERESTED? Then you ain’t all bad, sister!
And wear your curves well.
And take the starry eyed, “You look pretty, mama” from your little child with a smile and a hug just say THANK YOU.
Don’t put yourself down – not to your kids, not to your husband, not to no one. NO EXCUSES. No wiggling out a self-deprecating comment. No pitiful whining.
In fact, be bold and proclaim your beauty. Proclaim it. Seriously. And let me tell you why….
Our children need to hear and see our confidence. Our little boys who look at us in awe need to know WE believe WE are awesome (extra lumpiness and all!) because WE are teaching them to find beauty in a less than “perfect” shape. One day, our son’s wife will be bringing our grandchildren into this world, and do we want him to measure HER up to our impossible self-imposed standards directly after having had the child? Would we want our daughter-in-law to be on the receiving end of the same harsh physical criticism we are meting out to ourselves? Or would we like her to hear reassuring words of encouragement, affirmation, and love? Then take all our son’s loving comments he is giving to us NOW, and repeat them! Let’s not shoot down his beautiful words, and stomp them into the ground with our own insecurities! Instead, say what he says about you! And if your boy isn’t one to be quick with the encouragement, then teach him! ”Mama looks pretty in her dress, don’t I sweetie?”
“Mama likes it when you compliment her hair, son…”
“I put on my pretty red lipstick just so I could leave a big kiss on your cheek, darling!”
And our daughters. Our daughters needs to have a model of beauty for when they find themselves in our exact shoes in 20 years. Do we want her to play the same broken, ridiculous, hurtful tape we are hearing inside our head? Or do we want her to look in the mirror and think, “Dang! I look GOOD!” Maybe she will need to work a bit to get back into her favorite shape. But she can be beautiful every day until then knowing she has been a part of God’s miraculous plan bringing a new life into the world! She can exude Awesomeness and Attractiveness by her confident smile (new lipstick always helps!). She can hear in her mind the repetitive tape WE will now be speaking to and about ourselves…starting today.
Dads, I know there are some of you who read this blog. Please, please, please, speak kindly to your wife. Encourage her in her beauty – and if she discourages your remarks with foolish self-deprecating put downs, wisely tell her to STOP. Do not allow that kind of talk in your home. What she thinks and feels about herself is a far fiddle from what she would want her children to feel about themselves or their spouses in the future…and that is indeed what she is training up in them.
So let’s speak to our children about our beauty, moms! Encourage them in their confidence by first radiating confidence ourselves. If that seems odd, confusing, or unrealistic, then let’s begin to affirm how Christ sees us, as His beautiful bride. We cannot raise confident children, if they hear us constantly putting ourselves down. And we can’t constantly be putting ourselves down if we repeat what Christ says and thinks about us, and see ourselves through the eyes of that little starry eyed little boy who looks up at us and says how beautiful we are.