When I was a young mom, I worried about so many things.
What people thought of me.
My baby.
Her outfit.
My figure.
What they thought about what I said. Or did.
Or didn’t do.
Or what I believed.
I worried about what my family thought. My in-laws. My neighbors. Daly Kay’s teachers. Her coaches. I was a nervous wreck if we were late and if her teacher said she misbehaved I was honestly nauseous.
Truthfully, I wasted way too much energy and life power on the whole shebang, so if I can help one mama from even an ounce of it, then this post (and yes even this website) will be worth it.
Come close.
Listen to me.
I don’t give a flip anymore and if you can hear me out maybe I can save you 15-20 years of anxiety.
No one remembers what Daly kay wore as a baby. No one remembers if she was fussy that Sunday at brunch 20 years ago. No one remembers how she wriggled in her high chair and not one person ever reminds me of that time she threw a fit in TJ Maxx.
I thought I was overweight at 115 pounds back then. I’d give dang near anything to be that “fat” again. No one remembers how quickly I fit back into my size 2 jeans except maybe one wench and I haven’t spoken to her in 17 years.
All my kids’ coaches? Over the last 20 years we’ve proven ourselves to be dedicated parents and team members. All those teachers and Sunday School volunteers? They see how our girls have grown up– and while they may have disagreed or had to “talk” to me about a few things my kiddos did in class– over the long haul my kiddos are doin’ alright and hopefully we all have learned not to expect perfection from one another.
And I bet there isn’t hardly a being I can find who can even remember one conversation with my 21, 22, 25, or 27 year old self. So all that worry about what they thought about what I said…what a waste of time.
My family– they still love me. They have to. We’re blood and hopefully they know I do my best. My in-laws? I think over the years we’ve all come to just focus on the best in each other and appreciate our strengths. Who’s got time for silly fighting when you’re busy trying to not only make a living but make a life? Besides– I definitely married up. David’s family is amazing.
Please listen to me.
Seriously.
Enjoy your youth. Your young family. Your new baby. Your post partum body.
Enjoy who you are and the mistakes and triumphs along the way.
Don’t take it all so seriously.
Lighten up.
And when those butterflies crawl into your tummy you just repeat after me…”In 20 years, no one will even remember this. So I’m not going to let it steal a moment of today’s joy when in the long haul it’s all going to be fine anyhow.”
Then walk away from the mirror with a fresh application of lip gloss and a flip of your hair.
It’s gonna be alright mama. You’re gonna do a great job. And no one’s going to remember your mistakes anyhow.
They are all too busy worrying about their own.
If you found today’s post encouraging, please share the love! Click on the social media icons below and let your friends know where they can find real hope and help for families and in their parenting!
Courtney Burg says
A girlfriend (and new mom) and myself were just discussing this yesterday. The “pressure” to lose the baby weight quickly and get back into those pre baby jeans. I myself am 6 months post partum and am just now able to get a workout in, a good nights rest and a decent whole meal (usually). We reminded each other how important it is to “check” ourselves when the thoughts begin to fly, as we know competing or comparing to others steals so much joy! I also try to remember how many women out there would be GRATEFUL to have ANY post partum body as they continue to struggle to conceive. Thanks as always for the incredible ENCOURAGEMENT!
Lyette Reback says
Thank you Courtney! You’re doing a great job with that baby and your body is in fantastic shape. Much love to you and thank you for always believing with me!
Gina G. says
Dear Lyette
Thank you ! Thank you! Thank you! Words of encouragement I will keep with me.
From a mom of three hoping for a fourth.
Lyette Reback says
Hoping with you Gina. Blessings to you and yours!
Michelle Wiginton says
Amen, preach it Lyette! This is EXCELLENT advice for any mom!!!
Lyette Reback says
Just wish I would have figured it out 20 years ago! Love you sista and praying for you.
Carly says
Great advice to keep mommy life in perspective! Thanks:)
Lyette Reback says
Thank you Carly. Bless you! xoxo
Amanda says
LOVE THIS!!!!! Thanks for being real… for making each of us feel we are sitting at the table with you talking over chips and salsa! You are THE BEST!! My favorite line…”except maybe one wench and I haven’t spoken to her in 17 years!” ????
Lyette Reback says
Love you Amanda. What would my life be without my Thelma.
Anne Fallon says
Lyette, This is what I remember … you were at 21, 22, 27 (and are) amazing! You and David opened your house multiple times to help us poor souls how to parent! 🙂 I still remember sitting in your living room going through parenting classes. I remember being in bible study together and hanging on every word of your wisdom! And best of all… I remember you serving freshly squeezed orange juice at one of your Daly Kay’s baptism luncheons. 🙂
Lyette Reback says
Thank you Anne! Bless y’all and big hug to everyone!
Thais Saenz says
I just read this twice! The second time, I read it out loud to my husband Cliff and we both loved it! Thank you!This can be applied to so many other areas in our lives !! So refreshing!
Lyette Reback says
Thank you Thais! Bless you both and thank you for the encouragement!