Flashback Friday. 10 years ago.
I’ll be honest and say I have never been much of a “playdate” mommy. Mostly because when my big girls were tiny I had three small kiddos in less than three years which rendered me immobile, and since then, I’ve been a little busy. But there have been those times that I TRIED to playdate, and it never really worked out so well.
The time I took Daly Kay to play with a few little girlfriends from school…they were all “only children” (without siblings) and Daly Kay was now the proud biggest sister of four. I took sweet baby Kemper along with me since I was breastfeeding. She promptly pooped out of her diaper and covered my t shirt. The other mommies must have forgotten what it was like when their little ladies were wee ones. They asked me to change Kemper in the car and treated me like I had Ebola the rest of the (short-lived) afternoon.
Then there was the time I had a little friend come to play with my girls for the afternoon. Truthfully, the little girl was not my favorite but her mom was so fun and I really just wanted the company. I needed a friend more than Daly Kay did. Well, the mommy dropped off her kid – which is definitely not what I needed when Glory was just three weeks old – and the little girl continuously mocked my tiny house and how few toys Daly Kay had compared to her. So by the time she left, Daly Kay and I both were miserable!
And then there was one of my last attempts at a playdate–where a little girl came over and while Daly Kay proudly showed her our canary’s eggs in the sweet nest, the girl OPENED THE CAGE AND CRUSHED THE EGGS. Completely astounded, Daly Kay came running to me with tears streaming down her face. When I got to the cage with the other mommy, her beastie daughter blamed Daly Kay and walked out promptly to their car. The mother turned up her nose, turned on her heels and left. Daly Kay, Ryli and Bliss were just…shocked. Crazy.
So I share these stories with you because moms can be lonely. We want our children to have friends. And when they are little we are looking for friends for ourselves too. Parenting can be isolating and there are some real jerks out there. My days have not all been happy and easy. I have cried more than my fair share of tears full of heartache, but I am here to tell you that parenting can be the most rewarding “grow your own best friend” adventure you will ever have. Twenty years into this and I can tell you that every trace of loneliness has been filled with the joy of a loving daughter(s) who are now my nearest and dearest friends.
Hang in there moms of wee ones. Your bestie is coming. It just may take a couple decades. Until then…I’m here.
april brunjes says
Hahaha. I love this post. Play dates feel very awkward for me unless it’s with people that I know very well. The most awkward experiences for me have been preschool birthday parties. Everybody in the class is invited, none of the parents know each other, and I’m always about 10 years younger than the rest of the moms in the class. I had my first baby at 25 and I’m pretty sure the other moms thought I just graduated from high school.
All that to say I’m thankful for the few mom friends I have. It’s such a blessing to have people to share parenting experiences with and get their feedback.
Michelle says
This post was like a big hug from a best friend….thank you.
Lyette Reback says
Ladies, I have been blessed to find good friends along the way while parenting, but I often remember feeling challenged as a newly wed, new mom and new to the area when I had my young ones. It can take time to find new friends, especially friends who are in the same season of life as you…and for sure it’s difficult if you area newcomer to the area. Some ladies are blessed to have been in the same locale for a long time or have a right church group…but for me that certainly wasn’t the case for the first 6-8 years of mommyhood…with a few (still very good friend) exceptions!
Mari says
YES! This is SO true! “Mommy culture” is a whole new world to learn to navigate through. Glad to know im not the only one struggling through playdates and honestly wanting to avoid them all together. Thanks for your transparency…I’d be interested to read more on this topic. 🙂