You’ll find them congregating at nearly every kind of gathering where there are children. Criticizing, complaining, contrary women addicted to commiseration.
They are the Commiseration Committee.
It’s quite simple to get sucked in to their rhetoric. Raising children is challenging…but these women have complaining down to an art form.
You can have a good marriage, a solid home-front and healthy children…and in one conversation these ladies can have you convinced that your life is meaningless, the endless hamster-wheel of shuffling kids to and fro has swallowed up your entire being, and that every coach and teacher is actually from the devil.
Steer clear. At all costs.
Folks, we didn’t get into this business of raising children because we were delusional thinking it would be easy (we may have been clueless as to how difficult it could really be, but not delusional– there’s a difference!). We did it to love someone— to leave a legacy– to pour our lives into the next generation in hopes that they could do better, have greater opportunity and make a difference in this world.
(Ok…so maybe that’s not exactly WHY we became parents, but hopefully after reading enough of this website your mindset has begun to turn this way!)
And the problem with the Commiseration Committee is that they are so busy dragging their husbands, their children, the coaches, teachers and every one and any organization down that they never stop to encourage, strengthen or contribute in any way. They leave you feeling drained and hopeless. You walk away from a conversation feeling angry, anxious or bitter.
And kids begin to hear and repeat the Committee’s slogans and taglines and they begin to sense that they are a burden. The children become critical and have no desire to serve or contribute to their teams or schools because they have heard of their parent’s endless complaints. Folks, don’t join in this group at all!
And let’s be honest…with every school, every team, every organization…there are challenges. These groups are run by a bunch of imperfect people. But instead of commiserating, be participating! Be too busy being active in your child’s school or teams to have time to sit and commiserate. Be a part of the change or growth you want to see happening in the group, and encourage your children to be active leaders to their peers and teammates. Usually all it takes is one small group of individuals to infiltrate an organization and radically shift the culture or outlook! You and your children could be that change!
So let me warn you younger mommies about the Commiseration Committee and encourage you to steer clear. Keep your joy and your hope alive and avoid the herds of complaining moms who have no real advice or comfort to offer. Choose wisely the organizations you participate in and do so wholeheartedly! And if you sense right now that you may have unwittingly joined the Commiseration Committee, resign. They’ll find new members easily enough…but you, my dear friend, have bigger and better things to do with your time and energy.