The last three weeks have been so stressful. Between the Gold Star “The House That Love Built” project (our extreme home makeover for a local gold star family) and getting the girls ready for school, I’ve been darn near nutso. So by the time that the day rolled around to actually bring them to school– I was relieved.
Let’s get this show on the road, I thought to myself.
The reality of my little girls turning into independent women hadn’t settled in my brain well enough. The “this is it” feeling had been mostly pushed aside because there was just So. Much. To. Do.
And then when it came time to leave– I felt so… Inept. At a loss for words. The girls had to flit off to their first class and just like that– they were gone.
My heart still can’t believe it and my mind can’t process it.
There will be empty bunks tomorrow morning when I go in to wake the children.
Empty seats at the dining room table.
Empty seats in my van.
But my heart, while quivering, is not empty. It’s full.
Full of anticipation for all the friends they’ll make. The experiences they’ll have. The ways they will change and grow. The travels. The relationships. The ways they’ll lead and fail and soar and try. I’ve never been so joyful and sad at the same time. But the joy on their faces makes the pain of missing them so worth it.
I know Ryli and Bliss will make a mark on Stetson University. Just like I know my family will forever look different from this day on. And that’s a good thing. But it doesn’t make it easy.