Special Forces Parenting

I grew up the daughter of a Marine.  My father was also a naval pilot and my uncle flew Marine Force One for Kennedy and LBJ.   Patriotism and reverence for our military runs so deep, it’s DNA.

The Navy SEALS have been in our prayers recently as we are working on a project (The House That Love Built) for a very special SEAL family, the Vaughn’s.  Billy and Karen Vaughn lost their only son, Aaron, when his helicopter was shot down over Afghanistan in 2011.  The price this family has paid for our freedom has been beyond inspiring to David and I.

SEAL culture in itself is fascinating.  Being that these characteristics are used to train our nation’s elite fighting force, I wondered how many of their best known quotes would apply when training our kids. Not surprisingly, I found many applicable mantras.

“You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.”

Many times I see parents trying to bide their children over or convince them to obey.   Look folks, obedience is not a choice.  Especially you parents of young kids…quit asking them so many darn questions and lead, for heaven’s sake.  Your kids don’t have to like anything you ask them to do, they just have to learn to do it.  And then there’s this:

“There are two ways to do something…The RIGHT way…and Again.”

Don’t ever go back and redo something for a child over the age of eight.  Make them do it.  Again.  And again.  And again.  Until it is done 110%.  You can also frequently hear me say, “I have nothing better to do all day than to sit here and watch you redo this until it’s right.”  If I’m late for something, or miss an event altogether, it is worth it to teach junior that there is nothing more important to me (and their future) than a job well done.

“If you’re gonna be stupid, you better be hard.”

Kids do dumb things.  Honestly.  It can amaze me how ridiculous they can be.  But stupidity around here is rewarded with serious physical challenges.  Push-ups, jumping jacks, sit ups, squats, planks, wall sits.  Wanna know why my boys are so strong?  Stupidity. {insert snarky giggle} But in the end I kill two birds with one stone…maybe even three.  They get a physical consequence that is a sincere reminder to obey and USE THEIR BRAINS.  They get stronger.  And they get tougher.

“It pays to be a winner.”

As a “special forces parent,” I have rewards awaiting me in heaven.  My kids do too.  And make no mistake, I don’t care how much “everybody gets a trophy” commie crap this whacky world throws at ‘em, there is a competition happening here.  It is for the very souls of our children, our families, our nation.  It will pay to be a winner.  In this life, and in eternity.  So teach ‘em to fight hard for the things that really matter.  Teach them to contend for the faith, which is becoming a more intense battle daily.

“On your backs, on your bellies, on your backs, on your bellies.”

SEALs grind through workouts and continuously roll in the gritty sand a monotonous and seemingly pointless routine.  But the truth is, in this daily difficulty, the spirit of a man is sharpened and forged into a warrior of minute details.  The same is true of a routine in a family.  One diaper, one meal, one clean-up at a time, a bond is forged and the details that went into training your children will make them an elite fighting force against our common enemy…which many times comes disguised as complacency.

“Anybody want to quit?”

I have said millions of times, to the children, to David, in my prayers, “Not one.  Not one falls through the cracks.  Not one misses the mark.”  I say this to my children to remind them of our importance as a family and their importance as individuals.  And the only other option is to quit.  Quit teaching, quit reminding, quit pushing, go soft.  What’s at stake?  Only everything.  Their future, our posterity, our country.  Nope.  Quitting is not an option, folks.  As parents, we don’t get the luxury of rolling over and playing dead.  I have to hold back claws when I hear parents say things to me like, “Well, I guess there’s nothing I can do.  It’s in God’s hands.  Whatever is His will.”  BULL@$%*!  Fight! If you can’t fight with them, fight over them! Fight in prayer!  Fight with fasting!  Fight with everything you have in you and when you’re exhausted, push harder!

“The only easy day was yesterday.”

Courson flexing his big muscles

Many times, I want to say this to new moms or moms of toddlers who look at me and argue that things will be easier when the children are older.  God didn’t make any mistakes when he made babies as babies and toddlers as toddlers.  These challenging times as parents are made to grow our strength and simultaneously our dependence on Christ.  They teach us that indeed, we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.”  I chuckle when I hear moms tell me of their horror stories during labor.  I think to myself, “That was only physical pain.”  The heart wrenching job of parenting pales in comparison, no matter how difficult the birth was.

And finally, for you parents:

“Nothing lasts forever.”

The challenge of raising children does not endure forever.  They grow up way too fast and your opportunities to pour into them wane with each setting of the sun.  You must use every available moment to love on them, teach them, train them up.   Take every opportunity now, that you may arrive at their adulthood with no regrets.  Notice I did not say, “with no mistakes.”  Mistakes are a given.  Even big ones.  But regret is only for the foolish parent who has spent the last 18-20 years chasing something other than what really mattered.  And when I think of all that parents like Karen and Billy Vaughn have suffered so we would have the freedom to raise up another generation in the honor of those who paid the ultimate price for our beloved country, I can’t help but ask you to join me in Special Forces Parenting. Believe With Me that we can build a better nation through stronger parenting principles.

And if you ever want to give back to this extraordinary family, then please consider a donation to The House That Love Built.  We are a third of the way toward our total goal of raising $350,000 to purchase and renovate a new home for the Vaughns. Every $5, $10 or more is a step in the right direction and we look forward to being able to tell them that THOUSANDS of #gratefulamericans have given to this project in honor of their son and their sacrifice. Every time they walk in that frotn door, they’ll feel the love and admiration and APPRECIATION from every one of you who have given! Thank you ahead of time! And please, if your local, sign up to volunteer and be a part of the project March 3-March 12! Check it out…and give…generously.

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