Several times in the past week I have been confronted with women struggling with their sexual past. They are haunted by the things that happened to them or the things they did before marriage. Although over and done with, it is causing great challenges currently in their marriage or at least in the marriage bed. At the very core, it is a stumbling block in their mind, which is always where the battle rages most fiercely, even if we try desperately to keep it there and hidden from the rest of the world.
Ladies, we have been set free. The King of the Universe, the Creator of our soul, loves us. He saw us, 2000 years ago when He looked upon that precious woman thrown down naked in front of Him because of her adulterous acts, and said, “Woman, where are thine accusers??…neither do I condemn you.” He loved us when the prostitute was kissing His feet and anointing Him. He raised us up and washed us clean by lifting Himself on that cross and bleeding that cleansing, forgiving, perfect sinless blood to cover over our multitude of sins–sexual or otherwise.
Some struggle because they believed in Jesus at the time of their faltering. They condemn themselves because they knew better. Darling, He died 2000 years ago before we ever committed one sin, so doesn’t it stand to reason that He died for the sins before we knew Him and the ones we committed after we knew Him?
Sometimes, we are harder on ourselves than we should be. We are forgiven by Jesus, but we don’t forgive ourselves. We allow the enemy to continue to whisper his poison in our ears and it disintegrates the fibers of the garment of righteousness Christ died to give us–even though it is only from our perspective, not His. The Father sees you as blameless and perfect.
Newsflash: Marriage is supposed to be fun. ESPECIALLY THE SEX. And if it’s not, and if it’s not fun because of our past, or even our husband’s past, then we need to drop that at the foot of the cross. Let His blood cover over that. Let it seep into the ground never to be dug up again.
Let the redemptive glorious power of the empty tomb resemble the shining new life we have in Christ. Our past behind us, our righteous robe adorning our beautiful newly created selves, we can enjoy that our husbands we have been given. If the enemy comes and tries to gain a foothold in our mind, then we will shoo him away using the name of our defender, Jesus Christ. That’s one Man’s name our hubby won’t mind hearing! Ladies, our homes should be safe havens. They are what many times keep every other spoke in the wheel of our life connected. The enemy knows that the physical relationship between us and our husband is easy pickins to destroy the marriage, that’s why he comes against it so often. Let’s resolve to not let the enemy into your bedroom…and send his accusations about your past packing.
Now I directed this towards women because they are the ones sharing these kinds of struggles with me. If you’re a husband, please take into account that many times, struggles in the bedroom can be a result of a multitude of challenges…the only way to solve them is to talk rationally without being offended easily as you work through them with your wife. Be the safe place where your wife can be open about her struggles. This is part of what the Scripture means when it tells you to love your wife as Christ loved the church. The church has struggles and challenges, falters and failings…yet Christ died for her, sees her as perfect and blameless even while she mucks up the message more times than not. Love your wife through it. See her as faultless until she sees herself that way. Look at her with kindness and compassion even as she struggles, until she believes it about herself. And soon your struggles physically will be a stronghold of the enemy no more. Besides, no woman can resist a man that treats her that way!