I was 21 years old. Finishing up the first semester of my senior year in college, I stayed home after Christmas break to prepare for the upcoming arrival of our first baby.
David and I were very blessed. With his work, I was able to stay home. While in the hospital, David presented me with a contract to buy a home I had been wanting (it was even pink!). We had both sides of the family within a few miles of us. We had some savings in the bank. We were healthy and loved each other to pieces (still do, praise God). In other words, we had it about as good as it can get.
And yet, bringing home that baby was tough.
She was beautiful…perfect. But I was terrified. So scared that I made David pay cash for us to stay another night in the hospital…I was too scared to go home. She became very jaundiced and needed special lights at home that looked like a mini tanning bed. Breastfeeding was a six week nightmare (I eventually made it for about 5 months) that included cracked and bleeding nipples, mastitis, a clogged duct that got infected and felt like the flu, and a yeast infection (I had no idea what that even was so I suffered needlessly for a week before finally reaching out to my doctor!). By day six, I was a total mess. And truthfully, it was six weeks of a learning curve, under the watchful and sometimes critical eyes of friends and family.
Why do I tell you all this?
Because after speaking with some young moms last week, I know many of you don’t think I ever struggled through those first few weeks…months…years. Or that I don’t struggle now. And it would be wrong of me to not share with you those private fears, sometimes public mistakes, or overwhelming challenges.
Because those are the things that MADE David and I who we are! They forged our marriage. The challenges strengthened us and caused us to encourage one another even when we had no clue what we were doing. And more than anything, all those fears and challenges drew me closer to the God I needed to draw from for strength and wisdom. He was the one who would teach me how to love this child and even my husband in ways I had yet to understand.
As the years went by and the Lord added to our family, each time it was an incredible blessing but also had it’s challenges. Many times a birth coincided with a our house selling and a move, maybe some financial stress. Choose to look on these difficulties as opportunities to grow in your faith and see Him prove Himself strong. Don’t let them weaken your marriage or cause you to look anywhere but to Jesus for the answer. Especially when, postpartum, your emotions run away with your brain.
After 15 newborns, the challenges are expected and understood. The emotional freight train that follows is curtailed greatly with sleep and choosing to bottle-feed. And yet, every time, they make me remember what an amazing man I married and what an awesome God we serve.
cherylplourde says
I remember bringing Johnny home 25 years ago next week. I remember thinking, “They’re letting me keep this beautiful baby?” All you had to do was look at this perfect blue eyed baby boy to love him but I had just turned 19 and the parenting books might as well have been written in French because I couldn’t understand what they were talking about! By the grace of God I made it through those first scary weeks.
One funny memory I have is when my milk arrived around day 4 post-delivery. When it did, I wasn’t ready for it. Not only did it hurt but I was freaked out to be so big and lop-sided that I got in my car, drove to my OBGYN’s office, and demanded to see the doctor right NOW! They rushed me back to a room and tossed a gown on me not knowing what my emergency was. When my 80 (yes 80) year old male doctor walked into the room, I ripped open the top of the gown and asked, “What in the heck is this??” to which he replied with a grin (can you blame the poor old man), “That is your babies food, and plenty of it too. You should be very happy!” and with that he walked out of the office leaving me in a puddle of tears and leaking breasts! Oh, how I wish I had met the Reback’s sooner! 🙂
What a blessing to have you to share so openly, honestly, and practically about what it all means!
Congratulations on your beautiful new daughter! Thank you for this incredible blog!!
Jenn B says
I am just coming out of those first scary weeks with my second child. He is 8 weeks old today. These early moments are a lot of work but so full of overwhelming joy. I love reading your blog and following your IG!
Lyette Reback says
So glad Jenn! God bless and it’s so encouraging to ME to hear about your newest little one! Keep marchin’ mama! You’re doing great!
Cynthia mcCauley says
I enjoy your beautiful inspirational messages. I wish I could have had people like you into life when my children were babies. I also wish I had Jesus in my life back then like I do now. It would have helped me through a lot of mistakes. I wish I had found Jesus sooner. God bless you and your beautiful family?
Lyette Reback says
Cynthia, I wish all the same things for myself :)! So glad you found the blog and I hope you and your family are blessed. Jesus loves you! xoxo