I was out with a friend who had a precious little two year old boy. His cheeks were so squishy and squeezable that he was lucky to leave our little outing without me just kissing and biting them to pieces.
We had some errands to run and little man was so completely adorable walking about back and forth as his mommy and I chatted. He was truly very well behaved and I was enjoying the discussion with his mom… but really I was having so much fun watching him.
His momma was nervous. Was he being too loud? Did he answer me quickly? Was he obeying? Was it alright for him to walk around?
I see it all the time. A mom or dad who is talking to David and I and they are nervous about how we perceive them as parents or what we think about them or their children.
And if that has ever been you, then let me please reach through this screen and give you a big ol’ hug and an apology. I am sorry if for any reason you have ever felt uncomfortable around me with your children. That is completely the OPPOSITE of why I do what I do or what we want you to feel when you are around us. We are here to encourage you in your parenting not judge you! I’m never sizing up your choices or condemning your decisions…I’m likely most times trying to refrain from grabbing and squeezing your adorable child!
Anytime you feel fear or insecurity in your parenting, please know that you can turn here.
Anytime you see David or I, we are not judging your decisions — even if we do things completely differently than you or if we don’t agree with you! You have the very Spirit of your child’s Creator inside of you…who are we to judge your decisions?
David and I have been ministering to and encouraging parents for over 15 years. We have heard a lot in that span of time. We’ve held hands with heart-broken parents and stood with them in prayer, we’ve walked through intense grief with some of our families, we’ve stood in support as parents struggled through addiction, teen pregnancy and even suicide. Not one of those families would tell you they felt judged. Only loved.
So when you see me as you walk out of Publix with your two year old in a full blown tantrum, if I’m smiling it’s only because I was in the same boat just last week. I’m not sizing you up, I’m standing beside you. I’m in the same trenches as you, working just like you are, everyday, to do this job for His glory. I love you, my sisters…and I am believing with you! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Michelle says
Lyette, I think this same mindset applies to our Heavenly Father, too. So many think He is waiting with a giant boot to stomp us if we mess up….thank you for sharing your beautiful heart with us!
Lyette Reback says
You’re right Michelle. Absolutely right. And He just adores us beyond compare!
Rachel says
Xoxo. You have always been a source of encouragement for me.
Lyette Reback says
Thank you Rachel! xoxoxo
Heather says
Thank you!!!! That’s a great reminder. It kind of happens naturally as a new parent to think those things so it is encouraging to know that’s NOT your frame of mind. At the same time, I like to pick brains for advice from Moms that have much experience. It is overwhelming to know what and what not to do as a new parent. Any tips can help. 🙂
Lyette Reback says
It is completely natural. You’re right. And it is always wise to ask around and look from different parent’s perspectives. Parenthood is completely overwhelming…it still is for me — even after 20 years! But remembering how I felt when I was at your stage of motherhood, one wee one….is what caused me to begin this ministry in the first place. If I can help a mom or dad and let them know someone stands with them in the faith — that they can DO this job…then my mission is accomplished! xoxoxo
Kimberly says
Lyette, I believe and would vouch for every word in this blog. I will never forget the time you so graciously cut my daughter’s bangs because I was afraid to mess it up before her school pictures. You did it and then just impulsively smushed her cheeks in your hands and gave her a big hug. She glowed. Not once did you make me feel looked down on. Thank you.
Lyette Reback says
Aw Kimberly! I remember that night! You are such an incredible mom and have been an amazing inspiration to me…with Hope, work, school, and still meeting the needs of your friends and neighbors — you help push me along! Thank you so much and please give that cutie pie another big hug from me this morning before school!
Elspeth says
Lyette,
I know your heart and know this post to be true. I just sent you a question about something that is really silly. It’s a struggle that I am having that normally I’d just pray and push through. But it is something new for me – dealing with my child’s first Big Failure and his resulting disappointment. I know that in the scope of his life this is a hiccup and is small. But I never feared your judgement; I just wrote looking for your perspective. Thank you for being there for so many of us, both in our times of tragedy and in our times of the silly little things.
You are a blessing.
Thank you!
Elspeth
Lyette Reback says
First off, there ARE no silly questions! If you and I learned one thing at Hockaday…it was to ASK. Thank you Elspeth for your encouragement! And I’ll get back to you on the question! xoxoxoxo