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For the Perfect Parents

Posted by Lyette Reback on August 1, 2015.
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Austin&PerryLet me start off by saying this:

I don’t know Austin and Perry’s family personally. I don’t know the children. I have connected friends, family and community members but I have probably never laid eyes on either of those boys.

I don’t know exactly what all was on board the boat. I don’t know precisely what safety equipment they had or didn’t have. I don’t know how much training the boys had or even how much experience they had.

I don’t know for sure where the boys were going or what their plans were for the day. I don’t know if they planned on fishing just a few miles out or if they really thought about going all the way to the Bahamas.

And frankly, I don’t care.

Those simple, stupid arguments are only for the fortunate perfect parents who have perfect kids who have always made perfect decisions and adolescent children who have never pushed a boundary, broken a rule or attempted the inane.

I’m not in that crowd. Never have been since week one in my parenting. 

You see, if you have no children or if you have young children, you can cluck your tongue and reason away this tragedy as though it could have been avoided “if only.” If only they had been equipped, trained, obedient or whatever it is that you bloody THINK you know. And you’d be a damn fool.

Trust me, tragedy happens anyway.

Grown men who’ve captained larger vessels have been taken down by lesser circumstances and stranger twists of fate. Could this have been avoided? We’ll never know. That’s not the reality of the situation anyhow so any Monday morning quarterbacking only makes you a jerk, not an empathetic “could’a been me as a teenager a number of times” human having love and deepest sympathy and regard for these precious families now facing the stark consequences that a South Florida summer storm can wreak. All of you casting your stones forget that an able bodied adult was also lost at sea in that same storm on another small craft. No one calling for the arraignment of his wife or family.

Austin and Perry have brought me to prayer every hour of every day since the moment their situation went public. I have kids. I know kids. I was a kid. I am only here today because on any number of occasions tragedy turned away…

It’s like when some precious toddler gets accidentally left in a car…or some three year old wanders off into a lake…or some teen drives recklessly costing lives and heartbreak.

Should we cast stones at the heartbroken?

Mistakes happen.

Accidents happen.

Kids obey, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they sorely misjudge a situation. Sometimes tragedy strikes even with all the right equipment and best preparation. Those of us who’ve been around the block a few times choose to look lovingly at those who have suffered such heartbreak and walk with them in prayer, humbly realizing that at any given point it could be us needing the love and support.

The Reback Family, the Believe With Me Family, stands with the loved ones of Austin and Perry. I would also please ask that anyone reading this keep the friends and schoolmates of these two boys in your prayers as well. I’ve seen the profound sadness on these kids’ faces and it is heartbreaking.

A follow-up post: No Perfect Parents Allowed

Comments

  1. I love your blog. I lived locally and have gone through some deep family soul searching in the past few years.
    Thank you for being so candid and helpful.
    Jessica

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    • Amen, thank you for your words of support to these families. God Bless You. Support and love one another goes a lot further!

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    • My heart also goes out to this devastated family. I often wonder what kind of person dares to throw stones at a time like this so I looked it up.
      Schadenfreude (/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/; German: [ˈʃaːdn̩ˌfʁɔʏdə]) is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.[1] This word is taken from German and literally means “harm-joy”. It is the feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune.
      I say we call people out who do this an remove them from our friend lists. Why allow them to magnify the pain of a distraught family and remain complicit with our silence?

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        • I totally agree- there is not a parent out there that has sometime made a decision that they regret, or a teenager that hasn’t pushed the limits. Bad parents leave their kids in locked hot cars. Bad parents neglect there kids, drink and do drugs. Bad parents don’t show up, lead by example or pay any attention to their kids.
          These parents of these boys have taught these boys about boats, I am sure they reviewed safety rules, and trusted them to do the right thing. This was certainly not the first time they operated this boat, or sailed alone without a parent- Accidents happen everyday to teens, youngsters and adults- Boat accidents happen all the time involving seasoned sailors. Just as one has driven a car for years safely, they may be in an accident for many reasons.
          These parents are stressed enough and do not need any more criticism from biased bystanders. Anyone that makes statements like they should be turned in to DSS has never had any children. I hope somehow someone found them and they are going to make it home, but I know the chances of this happening are slim- this is al they have left- I wish them the best whatever the outcome and know they did the best they could.

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          • Um…”bad parents” don’t leave kids locked in hot cars. Nice to be hypocritical. That can happen to anyone at anytime. Look it up. You also don’t know anybody’s story. How dovyou know that “bad parent” unable to spend all this time with their children isn’t working back to back jobs to name ends meet?

          • Seriously? Basically you didnt understand anything said here! BAD parents? Who are you to judge that!! Guess you are one of the perfect ones!

          • Thank you for the initial writing…of course we all think we are the PERFECT parents until some totally unforeseen tragedy occurs…these parents did nothing wrong…they trusted their sons to have the common sense any teen would have at that age…you cannot manage what teens are going to do…God is in charge. Plain and simple. This family, parents, aunts, uncles, counsins, grandparents, and friends are suffering more than you who without children will NEVER know. Please be kind and respectful and pray for peace someday through God to help the families of the boys.

          • Back in the day.. My parents and most actually were not helicopter parents… When I look back at the freedom I had and misfortunes they could have befallen me hundreds of times I think.., wow there by the Grace of God… We didn’t even have seat belts, head protection… Second hand smoke was not even heard if.., it could have been me and my sisters… Yes it could have been ‘. And my parents were considered good parents. We lived by a lake, we rowed in row boats at ridiculously young ages…. Etc….

      • Alisa,
        I finally figured out what my mother is…after several decades of why she revelled in someone’s misfortune including mine. Thank you for explaining what is it….and you are very correct in what some people are saying about the situation. It is simply this: things happen, it is life with its triumphs and tragedies, we are so fragile as humans.

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    • I lost my youngest son to drugs. He was “raised right” but somewhere he got off course. I could see the blame in the eyes of so many that if we had been better parents, hadn’t gotten divorced, etc, he never would have turned to drugs. I don’t know what made him do it, but he was much loved and I don’t deserved to be blamed for his death. These parents don’t deserve it either. No one will ever know the pain they are going through right now and my prayers are with them.

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      • I’ve learned that when a person is determined to do something, they will do it regardless of the age. We can’t blame ourselves as parents. We just have to pray for God to carry us through the storm.

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        • My son was 34 & had been ill from a car accident for several years . He was finally getting better & was able to play golf in Nov. & ski in February. I got him & friends a place in Colorado. Talked to him on Sunday night & his plan was to ski by himself Mon. Am. I begged him to not do that & told him that our friend ! A physician did not think he should ski . Not in good physical condition due to his condition,. He laughed & said you know Jerry is always cautious.
          He skied Got back to the condo. I did not talk to him that day. His friends with him said he was just tired. His heart exploded in his sleep. Could not handle the altitude. Was I a bad parent to get him the condo? I have had a very hard 5 Years thinking about what I did. I miss him so much,the pain does not get better. I pray for the parents. If I did not have God in my life I do not know how I could go on.
          God bless them. All my life I heard you should never have to bury a child. It is hard but God is good.

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          • As I read your story, all I can think about is the love you had for your son. How happy you must have been to get him that trip to Colorado after watching his illness for years. How much you obviously loved the idea of seeing him laugh and smile with his friends. To me, that doesn’t say guilt, it says love. How lucky he is to have had you love him like that. Spending one more minute thinking that you had a role in his death is not necessary. He was loved by his mother. I am so sorry for your loss.

          • Please don’t blame yourself, please. Think that you gave him the wonderful gift of skiing by himself – a whole new horizon – and that when he died in his sleep he was probably more fulfilled and happier and more at peace than he had been since his accident, or even before that. Imagine if you had tried to keep him “safe” at home doing as little as possible and he’d got pneumonia and his heart had given out?
            Remember what an amazing person you brought into the world and the people he touched by his presence. And remember the wonderful times you had together through his life. Don’t let your perceived guilt rob you of that. And people that look at you badly, just imagine whatever type of person they could be that thinks they’re so pure as to judge someone else and stay as far away from them as you possibly can!
            Don’t let the past ruin your present!

          • As I was reading my heart just sunk for you .. But Thank God you have the faith to grasp on & know beyond a shadow of a doubt God carries you & brings you through all your heartache. You are the most caring & thoughtful Mom for allowing him that joy to go to Colorado since he had recovered from his accident. God knows all the plans & He meets you where you are .. Keep your heart turned to His Everlasting Embrace .. Stay in His Peace & He will heal your secret scars … Love &?Peace of Christ to you sweet Mom

          • I referenced your loss in today’s article. Thank you for sharing and contributing in such a heartfelt and vulnerable way. God bless you and of course you are not to blame for his passing. Such heartbreak…I am so very sorry.

      • I agree with you! People quickly blame the parents…My daughter has made stupid decisions and has had to deal with consquences and her father and I raised her well. We are divorced but that isnt the reason for her actions..Our other daughter doesnt do like her sister did ..and they come from the same two parents and raised the same with lots of love and attention…My heart breaks for you losing your son…It definitely wasnt anything did or didnt do! Sometimes kids just make bad decisions!

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        • We also lost our 22 year old son to drugs and he was raised right. I pray for these two families and their friends. I know the pain.

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      • I am so sorry for your loss of your son too. As one writer responded, “Pray to God to carry us through the storm.” Life is tough but love is stronger. God will always be there for you, and for the parents who lost their sons. My heart goes out to you. I understand and sympathize with your loss as a parent.

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      • There is no greater loss than losing a child. I lost my 25 year old son to alcohol. He was a wonderful, talented, bright young man, adored by many. It still hurts after 3 years. It is really hard to do but at some point you have to accept that things happen that are out of our control. We can’t blame ourseves.

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      • My husband and I tried as hard as we could to be perfect parents. We weren’t. Our son had mental health illness for which there is very little help. He drifted into drug addiction. He passed from an overdose in 2011. It just about killed his father and I, in fact his father passed two years later of a heart attack. I think our son’s death contributed to this. All the “if onlys” only serve to drive a parent crazy. We can’t be around our growing children 24-7. They have their own identities and will do some inappropriate things. We can only do our best and I can say with certainty that we did our best for our son and I’m sure other parents experiencing loss and pain have done their best as well. Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

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        • Please Nonnie accept my deepest condolences for the loss of your son and your husband. I actually referenced you in today’s post. Your willingness to be honest and vulnerable is much appreciated and I hope it encourages any other mother enduring the same heartbreaks. God bless you and give you strength. xoxoxo

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      • I’m so sorry for your pain. Of course it is not your fault. It is astounding the way people feel entitled to judge others…”judge not ….lest you be judged….

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      • Susan, you are so right. Until we stand in their shoes, we have no idea what they are going through or are feeling. All we can do is pray. And in this world, it is far too easy to get off course unfortunately.

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      • I too lost a child to overdose of drugs. My husband and I were both blamed by those around us. It was very painful and 30 years later I still feel the pain. I have never gotten over the guilt. It was awful that people accused us when we did everything we could to helpful her. They didn’t know the whole story and therefore chose to blame us. They didn’t live with us and were not part of our family. I feel so sorry for the families who lost their beloved sons. Especially with people laying blame on them. It is bad enough to lose your child. I have young grandsons and you never know what they may do given a chance. Sometimes they just go off on their own thinking they know it all and thinking they really can handle a situation. Then it gets away from them and mom and dad just aren’t there to help. God bless the families and friends and the boys.

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        • Wanda I am so sorry for your tragic loss. God bless. I am also sorry that you faced the added heartbreak of others thinking they could have done better. Raising kids is the hardest thing in the world. I often remind myself that even in the Garden of Eden, with God as their parent, Adam and Eve still chose to disobey. Much love to you. My hope and prayer is that you will relieve that guilt at the cross of Christ and let Him take that burden from you. Again I am so very sorry for your loss.

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    • You couldn’t have worded that any better in my opinion. I grew up on the water and at 14 I was more experienced than most people that were in their late 20’s. My prayers go out to their family and friends. When you grow up on the water like these 2 boys did it’s something that is part of their everyday life.

      All of the people bashing the parents need to take a step back and look at the big picture instead of blaming the parents since the 2 boys were only 14. That just so happens to be the minimum age to operate a PWV in the State of Florida. You never know when tragedy will strike. There is a word called Accident and it is called that for this unfortunate and devastating thing that has happened. Nobody wants to see this kind of thing happen to anybody especially when it’s two 14 year old kids! When I was 14 years old on many many separate occasions my friends and I did nearly the exact same kinds of things all the while our parents had complete confidence in what we were doing because we did it many times before problem free. That brings me to my point. It doesn’t matter if you are 14 or 40 you are not above the person that is in a plane that crashed, or someone who is killed in a car accident, or the service man or woman who is hit by a IED, ect. Yes they could all be avoided but this is life and tragedy strikes every second of every minute of every hour of every day and so on and on and on! All we can do is live life and love life because it can be over like the flip of a switch! So live life to the fullest everyone. You never know when it might be your last!

      God Bless these 2 boys and their family and friends. I know I’m not alone telling them that I share their pain…

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    • Thank you for making me and I am sure other Parent’s understand that we are not perfect and our children do not always do the right thing. But we are the one’s that has to live with the out come !!!!
      No one has the Right to Judge me or anyone else.

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    • I have no children, but I 100% agree with your post. But please do not judge those without children as making judgements. Not all of us fit in that category.

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      • Oh Marnie, I didn’t mean it that way at all. I’m sorry that it came across that way. I just saw some of the most horrific comments coming from people without children judging how difficult it is to parent…but thank you for contributing and commenting and God bless you!

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    • I think sometimes we look for a reason and if it’s a “bad parent” ,we think it can’t happen to us. I can not and do not want to imagine the pain of losing a child.

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      • I do agree with you Rick, I think many parents are defaulting to blame as a defense mechanism. Couldn’t possibly happen to them if they cross all their T’s and dot all the I’s.

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    • I have two boys of my own who have always loved fishing. Although they are now 26 and 22, many times took a small boat out fishing. I pray that GOD will give us a miracle and have those two boys found. I can’t even begin to imagine what those family’s are going through. Thinking of you every second. And PRAYING constantly. I also live in Florida and know how fast they storms can come up on you. I’ve been caught out in a boat in one.

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    • Amen! You said it well. I can’t imagine losing my son and have been heart broken since that day and can only pray for their families! So sorry for their loss.

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  6. This blog has hit the nail on the head. I do not know the families. My 14 yr old son is friends with the boys. His last memories with them are wrestling on the beach after hanging all day at the pier in June right before we moved to the carolinas. I myself have shed many tears as this story broke and NOT for my sons pain of his missing his friends and his worry but as a parent for the pain of these parents not knowing where their children as that feeling is torturous. I have spent the better part of the last few years praying my adventurous boy would call when he is Just 5 min late. My light is on for their return home. Prayers hope and faith.that is what we are all living on in our house daily. May peace come to these families soon.

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  8. Lyette,

    Thank you so much for your humbling words. I know that Austin and Perry’s parents truly appreciate these words full of realism, wisdom, empathy, sympathy, faith and love. You, your family and the Believe with Me community are a blessing. God Bless.

    Ashley Wilkinson

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    • What a wonderful letter or blog or whatever you want to call it! Prayers for these boys and their family and their friends are all I can add! It’s all just too sad!

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  10. As one of nine children and the mother of four and grandmother of four, I wholeheartedly agree! I lost a grandson under the most innocuous of circumstances. He simply went to sleep. We never lock up. It’s no one’s fault. Stuff happens. This could’ve been me or one of my siblings or my parents. May the peace of Almighty God surround these families, their loved ones and their friends. And God bless you for putting it in writing!

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  12. very well said, my thoughts exactly . My heart breaks for the family. Accidents happen, I know, I’ve been there. Love to all the families and to yours!

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  16. I applaud you for saying what many of us feel! Our first instinct is always to look for someone to blame, that must stop! it is not our place to place blame on the parents or the boys, we do not know the full story, and we may never know the full story, because the most important part of the story is lost at sea right now. And I PRAY that we can one day hear it from Austin & Perry what happened that day because that will mean this story will have a happy ending. My prayers are with the friends, family, Austin & Perry and those who are still desperately searching and believing that they will find them!

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  17. This is the most helpful post I’ve read since the boys were lost. Thank you and God bless you and your family.

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  18. THANK YOU
    I don’t know…and I don’t care! Perfectly stated to the Perfect Parents.
    One lady started a response to a thread “this may be insensitive” and continued on her rant. I would say heartless is more like it! I will continue to pray and have faith these boys are found and reunited safely with their loved ones. I have lived in Jupiter since 1977 and seen a lot of growth and negative change….this has truly reminded us how small our town really is.

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  19. So spot on! Judgement is such an awful thing and at a time like this some just need reminders. They were once that age. Thank you for your words. They are wonderful.

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  20. Well said. I grew up in Jupiter, kids live on the water around here. There is nothing abnormal about their behavior that day. I mean, Shocker: 14 year old kids don’t always do what their told!!
    It’s been a heart wrenching week around here. My heart breaks everyday for their families. Still hoping for some good news.

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  21. I’ve never met those boys but I know it my own son has done in the past and how I tried to protect him and my thoughts are this was a very well said blog and I hope that their parents find peace because this is a very horrible thing that’s happened to their families I’ll be saying prayers for them

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  22. This is Beautifully said. Thank you. My thoughts and prayers are with the family’s and friends of Perry and Austin ?

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  23. We should be there to support not blame. For those of us that are parent’s we know we can not be there 24/7 especially as they gain their independence. Unite in prayer not prosecution.

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  24. “those who judge will never understand….and those that understand will never judge”

    THANK YOU for writing what so many of us have been feeling. Bless you and your family.

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  26. YESSSS!!!! You could not be any more right. NOTHING matters right now except those boys aren’t home. Nobody’s shoulda, woulda, coulda, if this, if that… It doesn’t matter. I don’t personally know them either, have never seen them. What does matter is that they are somebody’s babies. They are CHILDREN. All these people posting how much money the family has blah blah blab. HOW CAN THAT EVEN BE AN ISSUE … their CHILDREN are missing!!! Frustrates me to no end that people think they’d do something different than what those parents, families, friends etc are doing right now. Truth is, if those people were in this situation and did opposite of Austin & Perry’s families THEY’D be the ones who don’t deserve to be parents. Real parents would go to the end of the Earth and back for their children. Continued prayers for everyone involved, including the paddle boarder (who all of us have been praying for since the beginning as well)..…And for those expressing zero compassion bc obviously they need help too.

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  27. Thank you for putting into words what many of us also feel in our hearts. God bless the families, God bless Austin and Perry…and surround them with your all mighty love.

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  28. Thank you so much for this. It needed to be said so badly. It made my cry and was everything h I wanted to scream myself. Beautifully written. May we all think twice before we judge anyone. Blessings to you and your family xo

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  29. PERFECTLY said! Prayers to all families involved and all friends. Pain hurts, even if you don’t know these boys!

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  31. I so hurt for the families, not having any children myself, doesn’t make it hard to understand the loss of any loved one. I only pray the ones that criticize will never have to second guess any decision that they have ever made. My feeling of helplessness, despite my meager monetary donation doesn’t make me feel any better….I just want the boys to be found….I could care less about how much money they have or how much is donated….if it ends up finding them. What do you bet if any resources are left they will donate…..that money is so not important to them….Please God, find the boys.

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  37. I have also been brought to my knees by this story. Praying each night for protection and each morning for guidance to those searching. There is no blame here! Why must people always feel the need to place blame? Kids do exactly what these boys did. I snuck out my parents boat often. It makes absolutely no difference who the parents are, or their finances. They are parents desperately seeking their children. Let’s get behind them 100% in any way we can!

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  38. Your blog blessed my heart. I was saying the same thing this morning to my Daughter; responding to chatter here in Volusia County, near where the boat was found. There is no one to blame here. The parents and Family of these two precious boys have got to be frantic. I could not imagine the pain and fear they are facing right now, not knowing.
    I say we stop talking about the woulda, coulda and shouldas! And pray! JUST PRAY PEOPLE!!!!

    ❤️

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  39. Bravo! Perfectly said. I have read in horror some of the crass, judgemental and incredibly insensitive things written the last week. people don’t understand that in Florida, living on the water, a 14 year old on a boat is like a 16 year old in a car. Dangerous but a part of growing up and we let them get their license and trust their training. All of this is irrelevant though as it is nobody’s right to judge these kids or parents in the face of the most devastating time of their lives. The worry, the wondering, it must be unbearable and more disturbing to me if the fact people don’t see that or worse, don’t care. Thankfully our community has been exemplary in their love and support as has a nation of strangers and it is that majority we need to focus on, not the few cruel and callous people out there that have no business offering their opinion in the first place. God bless the boys and their families.

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  40. Thank you for expressing so perfectly what I have been thinking all along! Praying for these boys and their families daily.

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  41. I am also a parent. When my child was growing up, I also went through those “scary” moments. We try to bring our children up the best way we know. However, I have never know a child that did something “out of his league”. Children like to “test the waters”, be rebellious, try things they shouldn’t do, want to be adventurous, etc. This is all part of growing up. I’ve done it, and I’m sure you did it. What happened here is tragic. I’m sure in the back of their minds they knew they shouldn’t go into the ocean, but it was something “exciting” and “daring” for them to do. I’m sure they never throught that this would happen. Even if their parents didn’t give them permission to take the boat, kids steal their family cars without permission also. However, these boys did have permission to take the boat as long as they stood within a certain radias. Right now it’s not a game of “whose right, or whose wrong”. There are two young boys missing at sea. My heart aches for their families, and my heart hurts even more for Austin and Perry. I pray each and everyday that a miracle will happen, and they will be safe and sound. Let’s all do the same right now!!!

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  42. I too had my kids get into mischief as children . doing the things they weren’t suppose to and thinking they could get away with it, My son was always the most mischief.
    Let’s pray for them and their families. I pray they are still alive somewhere , hoping it all ends soon.

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  43. Thank you for the words of wisdom… I hope this will silent the lips of those who are quick to judge and condem.

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  44. My deep sadness and prayers for the family and friends is because we are parents that have raised boys. Fourteen year olds don’t have adult brains and lack the experience to understand all risks. Your post is truth. Thanks for sharing.

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  45. Very well said! As many of us do not know these boys or their family, we have grown to love them as if they were our own. I pray every minute of the day for the families, searchers and anyone involved in the continuous support to bring these boys home. God Bless you!

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  47. I pray also daily for these boys and their families…I have four children and have been very lucky that they have grown into adults without many serious issues ….i hope these parents get the chance to hold their boys again, and see the joys of them getting married and having children of their own … I can not accept that they are stopping the search for them …

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  49. Very well said! God, please hold these families in your hands and give them the strength to handle whatever the future holds for them. Watch over their boys, and if they are with you now, please give their parents closure, so that the suffering can end, and the healing can begin. In Jesus name, Amen.

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  51. Thank you for sharing. I feel the way you do. People are so quick to judge. I think they do this to puff themselves up and feel better than. Heartless.

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  52. Amen to that !!! It is amazing to see how some people out there things they have the perfect life or they are the perfect parents just because luck is on their side. We all made mistakes, no body is perfect and anything and everything can happen to anybody. Nothing last forever !!! My prayers to those boys and family … I can’t even Imagen what they are going through !!

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  54. I would like to thank you first and foremost for writing this and sharing it with all of us on social media . Our thoughts and prayers are with their families and we are praying for strength to endure this unimaginable bit knowing . It saddens me when reading judgemental comments from many who are non empathetic . What if it were their children . Reality is kids will be kids regardless of what situations they are in . They push buttons and live their lives , making memories and mistakes all at once . We have all been there . Praying for a miracle now as I faithfully believe and have seen them happen ?. Our community has come together at a time which is crucial and it were our children in this situation , we would want the same . Thank you to all those involved in the search for Austin and Perry and those searching for prayers to be answered by all of us . God bless these boys and their families ?

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  55. This was one of the most caring things I have read since this all began. You have said everything many of us are thinking. To those who pass judgement on anyone who faces tragedy, shame on them! Thank you for sharing this message. It has brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face, both at the same time! Blessings to you and your family.

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  56. Thank you so much for saying what I could not. I have continually prayed for the boys & their families. My heart breaks for parents. God please wrap your arms around them. Comfort them & give them your peace!
    When one grieves all Gods children grieve!

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  57. I completely agree. My heart has been broken for these families for the past 8 days, since I heard of this tragedy. I did not know either boy or their parents, however Austin was a good friend of my son’s and they had fished together a number of times. It’s very easy, in hindsight, for others to say “I would never…”, or “they should never have…” As a mother of a 16 and 14 year old, you have to recognize that accidents can and do happen. I could not have imagined how this tragedy would affect our community, and me personally…which makes it all the more difficult to imagine how both families are facing moving forward without their children. Empathy and prayers are all that is needed now…not further insult, second guessing and anger.

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  58. Thank you. You are right. Tragedy does happen and woe to those perfect parents who have been so vocal and who arrogantly think it will never happen to them. Praying for all who are involved in this tragedy.

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  59. So incredibly sad. Mike just had a parent meeting where the parents said their son was “perfect”. He only made 30% of the practices. These are the type of parents who criticize everyone else. I feel sorry for their child to grow up thinking he has to be “perfect”. If people don’t have anything supportive to say to these parents, they shouldn’t say anything at all.

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  60. Your blog regarding Austin and Perry was so heartfelt and beautiful. When their families have the opportunity to read it, I hope they find comfort and strength in knowing how so many of us feel about this tradegy. Like you, our family has been praying and remembering them every minute of every day. No one can judge the parents or the children in this situation. We all have made choices we wish would have been different with a different outcome. Bless you, too, for your insight and love.

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  61. I am so very sorry for your losses. I am the mother of four children and the sister of four brothers. My brothers and son have always been great adventurers (one grew to be a Navy seal)- they would have been with your boys “in a minute” fishing. It sounds as if they had a great upbringing, given much love and possessed a great joy of life. I wish peace for all that loved these boys.

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  62. Amen! I have been saying the exact same thing as much as I can to all the negativity… The imperfect Davis family stands by these families as well! Praying constantly… Hoping for a miracle !

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  63. Beautifully said! You have eloquently expressed what, not only myself, but so many people of this community have been feeling throughout this past week. Through the past week, when I’ve read hateful, negative, or judgemental comments, I’ve had to remind myself of the multitude of caring, resourceful, selfless, loving, supportive people who have reached out to both families. This support has come from friends of the families, as well as so many who do not know the boys or families, but simply feel empathy for the tragic situation they find themselves experiencing and have the humility to say, ” There, but for the Grace of God, go I.” As I read your blog with tears running down my face, I am holding tight to my faith that the love of both families, as well as the outpouring of resources, prayers, love, and commitment of a positive and caring community will bring these two boys back to the loving embrace of their families! Please, Lord!
    Continuing in faith and prayer!

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  64. WELL SAID!
    Having lost a child myself. This is a parents worst nightmare.
    If you feel blame is necessary KEEP IT TO YOURSELF
    The family is enduring enough!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  65. God bless this wonderful, and very true comment. And also bless and pray for the family threw the coming days, weeks, months. That they find peace, and that I am praying for them.

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  66. You said it so well! I get so frustrated with people who judge this family. My heart aches for the family and friends of these beautiful boys. I also appreciate how you reminded us to keep the schoolmates in our thoughts and prayers. This is difficult for them and the community as a whole. Thank you for sharing and now I feel I must share this as well…

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  67. Very well said. Living on the coast of NC and my son fishing and boating for 25
    years, this story has touched my heart. I just can’t imagine. Sending love and prayers to the families and prayers the boys will be found.

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  69. I grew up in Jupiter,and back when I was a kid it was a very small town we knew everyone,it has changed drastically,but I can see even though I no longer live there that it does still have the small town feel,especially when tragedy hits,and it is true growing up there you were always in and around water,and boats.i know I was so we’re all my friends,during the summer we would take our boats and hit the sandbar in the intracoastal ,no parents needed,that’s just how it was being a teenager there,and it’s true what you said and it couldn’t have been said better.,Even if the boys did everything right to a T.Or even with one or both of there dad’s was with them this still could have happened.Like it was said none of us knows what happened that day ,I do hope with every part of my soul that these boys are found.Injope they are able to tell us there story of that day like you had said,I have 4 children 20,19,18,and 14 I couldn’t imagine not knowing where one of them is ,I know this tearing these parents hearts to shreds ,that not knowing,and I hope soon they will know.And I pray they will be reunited with there family and there friends,my
    Heart truly goes out to these boys and there families.

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  70. I agree so much with this blog,you hit all the nails on the head,I to have kids and grand kids now,such a heartache for everyone involved. My prayers for the families and all their friends. Its such a sad case of what could happen to any one of us.

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  71. So perfectly said! Exactly what’s been on my mind, just hadn’t found the words yet. Thank you for your voice. Prayers for the boys and their families.

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  73. No words ever said were more true..We are only here because We surrvied our childhood.. I rode on a bike no helmet went in lakes when I could not swim well. Accidents do happen and for anyone to throw blame on family is just plain wrong…This Family is in such hurt. The will be doing the what if!!! for a long time. Love to all and prayers also.. So so Sorry for the loss of a couple of wonderful Young Men.

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  74. Thank you for writing what a lot of us are feeling. All I can offer is FAITH, HOPE and continued prayers???

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  76. Very well said. I am heart broken for these parents and everyone involved. I cannot imagine what they r going thru and I too have been praying for them nonstop and will continue to.

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  77. I so respect your comments. I to have prayed for those two boys and their families. Why condemn the parents or anyone else? What would that accomplish? Nothing. I have grandsons the age of Austin and Perry and I would be devastated if something like this happened to them and I would appreciate the support of family, friends AND strangers. You are right on point with your comments and instead of people pointing fingers they need to get on their knees and pray for all involved. Thank you for your words and God bless you.

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    • Amen! I am so sorry this family and pray that these boys can return to them. I had a teenager and I was a teenager so I cannot and will not be a part of the blaming game, I don’t know them and my heart breaks for this family, all I can do is pray for them.

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  79. Refreshing to read this. I don’t know anything about the story, but it sounds like perhaps they were enjoying life and taking risks, which we love to hear espoused in theory by celebrities in moving speeches and on movies, but reject in real life. Love to the boys and all involved.

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  80. “those who judge will never understand….and those that understand will never judge”

    I like what this commenter said, and I agree… but isn’t this just another form of judging?

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  82. Thank you for your words. My husband lost his daughter to an overdose and you can believe the self doubts, guilt, questions like “what could I have done differently?” Ultimately, these parents are grieving like they’ve never grieved before. It’s a tough balance to strike, when parenting, whether to protect (if only we could guarantee our children’s safety!) Or deny or a million choices unbeaten. You said it beautifully.

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  83. Beautifully said. I don’t know this famiy but as a parent my heart breaks for them and the pain they must be going through, I pray that they find some peace and that they will not blame themselves for this unfortunate turn of events.

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  84. Amen!! Well Said!!
    I too pray for the family members of Austin and Perry!!
    I have shared all the information posted for them.
    You have said everything matter of fact and totally true.
    Keep Austin and Perry in our hearts and in our prayers.
    I know the neighborhood you are from since I have lived in the Tequesta Country Club Community with my sister and brother-in-law and they were recently living on Tequesta Dr. I connected with them because of this.
    I know you will be reunited with your parents soon God permitting.
    Austin and Perry, we all love you and miss you!!

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  85. Thank you for putting into writing what so many of us are feeling. prayers, daily for Austin , Perry and their family!!!!

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  86. VERY WELL SAID!!! NO PARENT IS PERFECT!! THESE ARE 2 YOUNG BOYS THAT WERE BEING JUST THAT, YOUNG BOYS!!! IT’S NOT THE PARENTS FAULT NOR GOD’S….IT’S LIFE!! I AM IN CONTINUAL PRAYER ABOUT THESE TWO YOUNG MEN WHO JUST WANTED TO GO OUT AND HAVE A DAY ON THE WATER…I PRAY THAT GOD IS KEEPING THEM SAFE AND THEY HAVE ENOUGH WATER AND THEY WILL BE FOUND ALIVE. TO THE PARENTS AND FAMILIES OF THESE 2 YOUNG MEN I PRAY FOR YOU TO HAVE FAITH AND PEACE IN THIS MOST TRYING TIME..I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE WHAT YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH AND SUFFERING WITH. GOD BLESS YOU ALL….

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  87. amen, very very wise article and words. I feel exactly the same love and compassion has no room for should have done this comments. Continued thoughts and prayers for this family that has endured so much. Hopefully from this it will never happen again.

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  88. Absolutely spot on…it’s how I’ve been feeling all along since I first heard this story…we all live in glass houses and should not throw stones. In the end we are all connected and need to do a better job of standing together and praying for each other. Thank you for this beautiful article!

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  89. Thank you for your common sense. In this day of blame, entitlement and judgement your words reach out to so many parents who are just that…parents. Not all knowing entities that can forsee every movement or decision their child will make. We all do or best and …let’s be honest….sometimes it’s just plain luck when our kids grow up. No pt because we were doting parents, not because we gave them the best, not because we kept them as a safe as possible…..just plain luck. My heart goes out to the parents…..may their luck hold and the boys be found.

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  90. Thank you for saying what so many cannot but so many parents know. No judgment for parenting – there is love, there is mistakes, there is wishful hopes and dreams….no matter what age your child. Giving kids the ability to be their own person is paramount in life – while there are many things I wish I had done for my son, one of those things I never regret is letting him find his place in the world. Give love in abundance and show compassion for lessons learned.
    Thank you for expressing something so important and profound in a simple and caring way.

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  91. Having been in a similar situation with four other friends, all of us around age 21, what they went through very much saddens me. God speed to the boys, their family and friends.

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  92. Thank you so much for putting into words what has been on my mind. Praying for the boys and their families.

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  93. Very well articulated article and speaks to how the majority of us feel. I cannot even imagine the sorrow and helpless feelings they are all feeling. My heart aches for them, not only for the tragic loss of their children but also having to be subjected to people who are quick to pass judgement and criticize. One day they too will need support for a tragedy in their lives.

    For those who are casting judgement on the decisions of these parents, ask your self this…..have you ever allowed your children to play in the neighborhood unsupervised? To ride their bikes in the neighborhood unsupervised? To drive a vehicle unsupervised? To allow them the room to grow and make mistakes so as they grow and move throughout the developmental stages in their lives they are prepared to function as self sufficient adults?

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  94. Your voyage has turned into an epic adventure in heaven. Your desire to go out and explore the world, not sit on the couch in front of a video game, is admirable. Rest in peace boys.

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  95. THANK YOU!!!
    This is so beautiful and exactly the words I needed! I am a friend of Pam”s from High School and my heart is broken for her. Now when I get the stupid questions from people and I don’t know how to respond , I have been forwarding your blog for a clear explainion on my feeling.

    Thanks again for the words we all needed!!!
    Beth NY

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  98. Very well said! My daughter even commented on your blog and thought it was perfectly spoken. (She’s 20). I also like what was said about praying for the friends and classmates, as this is such a confusing age as it is, let alone have to worry & pray for their friends. Those boys are blessed to have the parents & family they have. God willing we hope to reunite them.

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    • Julie, I went to a prayer meeting and looked into the eyes of the 14 and 15 year old friends…they were so heartbroken and stunned. You know how emotions can run away with you at that age, and heartbrokenness is just horrific enough at any age…Glad you’ll be praying for those kiddos!

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  99. Well said! As a mother of 3 boys, I can relate to this message. My prayers go out to the families and friends of these boys! Still praying for them to return home safely!

    Nina, GA

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  100. Very, very well put. Kids do push the boundaries, try new things, test limits……it happens. This is just so sad for everyone involved. Accusations, finger-wagging, and recriminations are nothing but hurtful. Thank you for your articulate words on this unfortunate event.

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  101. Thank you so much for this. Austin is our family, I am one of the aunts. This was so beautifully written , it of course brought me to tears, which I have done so much of in the past week. I too have three boys who have spent lots of time with their cousin Austin growing up. He is a “Spartan” as we say because the Stephanos’s are decendants of the Spartans. He will never give up and we will never give up trying to find him and Perry. I cannot thank you enough for this amazing perfect insight! Much love to you Norieta

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  102. Beautifully written and so true. My heart goes out to the boys parents and loved ones. When we are 14yrs old, most of us do things that can’t be controlled as we at that time, get big britches. Life is so sweet and so bitter at times. That’s called, LIFE.

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  103. best from the heart post I have read! Thank you for putting it all in perspective. I have been following this all with hope simply because I “do” know what can happen at any given moment. I am a mother and a grandmother and I know sometimes things just happem.

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  104. There is no perfect parent,we all say things wrong and make mistake! God bless these boys and comfort them and there family and friends where ever they may be,, you never know what really happened the boys might have been heading back in, unless you were there you have no right to be negative, being positive makes life a little easier! My heart goes out to the mother’s and father’s of these two young men, may God bless you and your family and friends!!!!

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  106. I lost my 33 year old brother to the sea. He was an experienced diver, former Navy. volunteer Rescue Squad and diver. Drew and knew nautical charts of that area. lived in those waters all his life. had a boat since he was 12 years old. Most safety conscious person on the water you’ve ever met. Respected the water. Went out on a beautiful Saturday with his dog. didn’t return. We don’t and won’t ever know what happened. The search is beyond agonizing. Yes you hope and pray. You imagine the best and the worst every second. Your mind plays horrible games.
    We did find him finally. The dog was alive. He was not. Apparently fell from the boat. Nothing made sense.
    I pray for these boys and their families around the clock. There are just “accidents”. Look up the word. Do not judge. Pray. You can not in your worst nightmare imagine this families fears. It is not your concern as to the what’s or whys. Just pray! Be compassionate and humane. Love one another.

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    • Debi I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sure that even though your loss was heartbreaking, sharing it here could actually be very encouraging to the parents facing such horrific circumstances. Accidents, the unthinkable, the unexplainable happen. Thank you again.

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  109. Well said,no one is to blame, the sea is very unforgiving one minute it is beautiful and the next it is a roaring monster.I pray that these boys are still alive but the chances are very slim, I just hope if they passed they went fast and didn’t have to suffer.I pray they find either them or their bodies so their families can have closer.

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  110. Very well said and encouragement for the family. I am praying God gives this family the strength and peace during this difficult time.

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  112. “There but by the Grace of God go I”…no truer words for anyone who is a parent. These families need our love&support not harsh judgements. God bless&swatch over Austen&Perry wherever they may be and bring His loving comfort to tHeir heartbroken families. Thank you so much fOr writing this, you stated beautifully what needs to be said.

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  113. I can remember as a teenager that i made choices that have very well ended tragically, but at the time i did not see the danger. As a teenager you see no danger we all feel invensible and are out for the fun of the present time. God has already planned our lives’ path and there isn’t anything “our parents” can do to change that..there were times when i knew my parents rules but as a typical teenager i made choices that went agianst the rules..and as a grown adult now i can shake my head in disbelief that i actually done things and survived…knowing now it could have ended alot different. As a parent myself we love our kids and do everything we can to prepare them to handle any thing that they will encounter..and hope they make the right decisions..and i agree accidents do happen even when the right decisions are made it was written into Gods plan. I pray for theses families and for the boys safe return.

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  114. I must say whoever wrote this said exactly the right words. This is a tragic tragic accident. I have been following this since it happened with the hope that the boys are okay. Im still praying everyday that maybe something will give and they will be found.
    Also for all the family and friends of these 2 boys, just keep hoping and praying that they will be found. Dont give up.

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  115. Your words have actually changed my perspective on this. I have a 12 year old son and live on the east coast of florida. He and i were almost taken by a summer storm offshore of ponce inlet in our 18′ boat last summer. We barely made it back! I thank the good lord and my many years of boating experience for that every day. What an eye opener! I haven’t ventured beyond 7 miles since. My son refuses to go offshore!
    What a tragedy!!!! Ive been anxiously awaiting news since the story broke. My heart goes out to these two boys and thier familys.

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  116. such Truth and Loving Wisdom…thank you for posting this…so true….it touched my heart and caused me to cry….. I , as you and thousands of others are praying not just daily, but every moment I check my Facebook page for an update…at least 30 times a day….God bless There is power and comfort in Prayer…our Wise God has everything under control….we are all trusting him…..

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  118. Thank you so much for your words. I myself have been struggling with the comments that I have been reading in social media and the news outlets. Even in my personal Facebook page, when all I posted was a simple, “let’s keep these kids and their families in our prayers.” I didn’t ask for all the opinionated comments I got. I decided not to respond to any of them simply because I didn’t feel like getting into a debate with the people that made the comments. I just wanted prayers, thats’ all. I do not know the family or friends of these two kids. I don’t even live in that coast. But I, as a parent, have compassion and that ‘s why I think this has been so difficult to deal with. The boys and their family and friends will continue be in my prayers.

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  119. This was very well written and ever so true. Thank you so much for saying what every mother of a 14 year old son should feel. I totally agree with you and thank you for writing this blog. I am from Jupiter myself, my boys were raised down here in Lake Worth. I have a 14 year old and a 17 year old, and my heart just breaks everyday thinking of the parents, families, and friends of these 2 boys. Praying for all of you.

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  120. This was a very well written blog , you are actually kinder than I would be. I mentioned early on in this tragedy having overheard ladies passing judgement etc…I should have said something but I didn’t = just quietly said a prayer came home and hugged my tween son a bit tighter. Sometimes I get a bit of a chuckle when I witness new parents talking about how they will raise their child , what they will and will not do ….Thank you for writing this.

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  121. as everyone else on here has said let me add to it BRAVO!!!! Let those without sin cast the first stone. There should be NOTHING. But prayers and support being posted for these parents , families and these boys. I too do not know them personally but have friends who do. People in glass houses do not throw stones.. I have been through the 14 -18 year old stage with a girl and a boy- they don’t listen, they are invincible- nothing bad will ever happen…. They know it all! They were experienced boaters yes but as you said- the most SKILLED captains have been taken down at sea in much calmer seas in all kinds of situations, we know – we cross from Jupiter to the Abacos every summer and pray all the way for a safe crossing weather wise and mechanical wise. I have been the parent who’s 7 year old son has gone off with a new neighbor and their kids when he was supposed to be out front, the parent while shopping frantically searching for their child who wanders off to play hide and seek in a rack of clothes and finds it funny not to answer you as your heart is racing the whole store is looking- these things are minor but go to show you- kids are kids- we don’t know their plans the parents are NOT TO BLAME- and those of you who are throwing stones should be praying for forgiveness for your judge mental asses!!! These parents and families are in anguish, an anguish we will never know unless it happens to us – finding these boys is all that Matters

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  123. Well said. I’m the mother of 5 adult children. Teenagers are unpredictable. Water is unpredictable.

    The people who are clucking their tongues and blaming the parents are the same people who think that life can be perfectly safe if there are enough rules in place. Sadly, that not realistic. Accidents happen. Bad things happen. And sometimes our beloved children die.

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  124. I grew up in that town. This could’ve happened to myself & my friends or any number of my friends in High School. Boating on the weekends is just what we did. Now that I’m grown and a mom, I see so many ways that we could’ve been safer- and I am by no means a perfect parent, although I try my best. My heart & prayers go out to the family.

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  125. Amen to that! God is good hopefully these boys are found. I’m a mother of two boys and you never think anything bad will happen and alot of times we are not prepared for such events like this to happen. Does that make someone a bad parent? No please pray for the families and dear GOD bring them home. Wonderful blog.

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  127. Raising two children was a series of missed tragedies. Today I could have been arrested several times for child neglect. But I was not a bad parent. I loved my children, and did my best to protect them and give them a happy life. But they slipped out of the house a few times while I was sleeping or on the phone. One fell in a pool, but was rescued by her sister. One was thrown from a pony and required hospitalization …. and on and on. It is so dreadful to heap blame on top of sorrow. Thank you for writing this important message.

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  128. I’m so glad you wrote this! I was so unhappy to hear people saying things about these parents. I have 4 children, adults now, and the things they have done without permission is unbelievable. To Austin and perry’s family, you are in so many people’s prayers, stay strong.

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  129. Thank you!! Thank you!!! I am a childhood friend of Perry’s mother. As a friend, a parent, and simply a human being my Heart is breaking for these boy’s and their families. I wake up in prayer and close my eyes in prayer for them every day. It is so hurtful to hear and read what mean and hateful people are saying. We need to remember: “if not for the grace of God, it could be one of ours”.

    To the parents of these beautiful boys…I send you warm and loving hugs.

    For all others, “Keep Hope Alive and continue to Pray for Perry and Austin’s safe return home.

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  130. Austin, Perry and their Beautiful Families and Friends. We Love you all as our own Family. Our Community Family, and the outpouring of Complete Love, Support and Compassion will find Austin and Perry and bring them home. Still Hold on and Believe in the Power of Prayer and Miracles. I Pray and hold them in my Heart every day.

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  131. I can speak only for myself. I’ve been following really closely the news … online and tv and today I “followed” the twitter account for “find them”. I’m brought to prayer continually.
    Having said that, let me add that I have not heard one, not one, judgmental statement regarding poor parenting or even poor decision-making.
    Keep praying.

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  132. Why do you even post this comment? Do you not see the intent of this blog? Your words are not necessary and not even true “the people that don’t care about why it happened are ignorant.” That itself is such an ignorant thing to say. And “truth hurts” – that seems like your intent.

    Disappointed you would even ruin such a beautiful, hopeful, unified post.

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  133. As a mother having come tragically close to losing my one and only son, I stand firm with this mother and her sentiments. Only by our lifting our children to God, knowing they are only leant to us by His grace, can we begin to handle the challenges that children bring. No human is perfect; that is why God divided days into 24 hours because without Him, we can’t deal with what life might bring. God bless and keep Austin and Perry!

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  134. Thank you for putting many of my thoughts into words. I have spent so many hours hoping and praying for a good outcome and some closure for those families. I have woken up in the middle of the night so many nights in the last week thinking about where they might be and how terrible it would be for those two to be alone in the darkness at sea for so long. I’m praying that their parents can wrap their arms around the boys once again. As the mother of a 13 year old boy growing up in Florida that lives on the water it really hits close to home having spent so many hours offshore. God Bless!

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  135. God he with those boys. Thank you for writing this blog. No judgments should be passed. Prayers and hope.

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  136. My heart breaks for these families. I have known the agony of waiting for someone to come home that doesn’t, I pray for you all and I pray for a miracle, may God bring you peace.

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  137. So beautifully put. This could have been my husband as a young boy. He too was a “salty dog”. He is here today only by the grace of God. My sympathy and prayers for the families and friends.

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  139. Well said! About time someone stood up for the family in the mess! Regardless of the if only s two boys are lost at sea and their families are going through hell right now! So, if you can’t be supportive then shut the h*** up! I can’t stand negative people! And if the families read this know that thousands of people are praying those boys are found alive! If I still had a boat I would be out there searching myself!

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  141. Thank you for publishing your post. This is exactly how I feel. Pray, people! Show compassion and love and understanding that “but for the grace of God” it could be any of us or any of our families enduring this heart break. Pull together and do what the Bible tells us to do and bear each other’s burdens in prayer. I want the family to know that I am praying, hoping, and crying with them.

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  142. Thank you for this. I live in Santa Cruz, where we are reeling from our own tragedy, and I couldn’t help reading our situation in this. The world is a risky place, and as much as we would like to believe that we can control all the risks around our children, we simply cannot. Limiting their freedom is not the answer. My heart breaks for the parents of Maddy and of these boys, and for all of those who love them.

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  143. My heart breaks as a mom of two boys. I posted that I would never let my boys out on the ocean alone. Fact is, my boys have gone against my rules as I did my mother. I did some crazy things that were so much more risky than these boys. I pray and grieve with their families.

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  144. So sad for these families. You never know when tragedy will happen and I am heartbroken for these families and friends. Perfect parenting … no such thing.

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  147. Thank you so much for your wise words. Prayers and all the strength I can possibly send are coming from Maine for these families and friends at this time . As you said I too remember being a kid and a teenager and it is only by the grace of God that I am still here on this earth. We do things. We are human. And these people need support at this time. You said it all very well . To the families <3 <3 <3 <3

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  148. You said it perfectly. People need to stop being so judgemental. My 20 year old son passed away on a motorcycle almost 5 years ago on okeechobee road. Was he wearing a helmet? Yes. Was he driving too fast? Yes. Was it his fault? I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter.. He is gone and that is the only thing that mattered. Nothing else. Did I want him to have a motorcycle? No. He knew it, but there isn’t much you can do about it… These kids have their own mind. They will do what they want. I did as a teenager too. Thank god I’m still alive. Please people… Stop being judgemental and just have empathy……

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  149. Thank you for that! It was beautifully written! My heart goes out to those 2 young men and their families! I will still remember you all in my prayers! God Bless you all ??

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  150. Thank you for writing this. I don’t think it could have been said any better. I have not stopped thinking about these boys and their friends and families since I saw it in the news. My heart breaks for all involved and still pray for a happy ending!

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  151. Well said. I’m no longer a very religious person, but my Catechism came to the fore last night when I heard they would stop searching. I prayed and prayed. I still hold out hope.

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  152. Very well and pointedly written. I add my prayers
    for the families and friends of Austin and Perry.
    I pray that our faithful God comforts them all as
    they suffer the uncertainty of their sons’ fate.
    Hopefully, God will lead someone to discover where
    Austin and Perry are (or Heaven forbid) their remains.
    “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
    ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:3-4‬ ‭NASB‬‬
    http://bible.com/100/2co.1.3-4

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  153. I completely agree, and for my family in NC we will continue to Pray for the boys and everyone involved. We were faced with not knowing if we were about to lose 2 of our sons in a really bad car accident in 2012. The youngest was 14 just like Perry and Austin. We were about 6 weeks till we knew they were both going to make it thru. I can’t even imagine what their families are going thru and they definitely don’t need negativity and to see rude insensitive comments anywhere. There were stories going around about our boys that were so far from what actually happened, and Thank God for giving us strength to ignore that and get thru and coming out even stronger after. I will keep believing and praying for a miracle. ..maybe God placed them on one of the islands out their till they’re found. Praying for a safe return home…..I don’t know the boys but I have friends that know some of the family

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  154. May the family find peace and tranquility. I am so sorry for their loss. It is unimaginable that this family has to endure this horrible pain. My thoughts and prayers are with them. God rest their souls.

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  155. I DO know people directly affected by this tragedy and I can say , more words like yours are needed. I had a huge argument with a client today who I said something similar to these words to. What’s the point of passing blame? It’s bad enough. Thank you for your words. I will share it and it will get back to people who will certainly appreciate your words like I do.

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  156. Thank you so much for posting this! You said exactly what I was thinking. My heart goes our to the family and friends! I do not know any of those individuals but I have been grieving along side you each and every step! I have four children with the last 2 fourteen year old twins and I can see them doing the same thing. Please know my heart is saddened!

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  157. I don’t know these families, my heart breaks for them. I grew up on the water around Savannah, and I know what my brothers and I did in our boat. I have worried for these boys and their families, I hope that they will one day know what happened. And for those that have condemned them have they ever thought for just one second that those boys did everything right and tried to help A stranded boater, who took advantage of their kindness.

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  158. Loved your post. However, don’t get too mad at other people’s comments. The media has a way of twisting things, and unfortunately, it can create headlines that are very negative because the “facts” aren’t exactly factually based.

    Until I actually listened to the 911 phone call today, the facts of this story weren’t exactly clear. I didn’t know ’til today that there had actually been a storm off the coast before his Dad made the call to say he couldn’t get his son’s friend on the cell phone. I just thought they had gone out to the ocean without telling their parents (which kids will do). Just hearing the 911 dispatcher mention the storm, explained a lot. We had a 19 foot boat here in Florida for ten years. We only dared go to the ocean twice with it, and it was so scary, we never did it again. I can see how the swells could have taken them by surprise.

    This story has really grabbed the attention of EVERYBODY in Florida. Such a sad thing to hear. Prayers going up for those boys and their families.

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  160. In my mind, they are on an island. Their new names will be McIver and Gilligan…I don’t know these boys or their families, I am not losing hope at all ….they have a big story to share when this is over..books and movies…I love them and pray every day.

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  161. So very well said, thank you for posting this. Nothing but love and prayers and compassion for these boys and their families, God bless!

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  162. Beautifully written. It was humbling to read.
    God Bless the Families and Friends of these boys.
    ?

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  163. I grew up in Miami and lived those two Boys life almost to the “T”,and I’m proud those kids have Parents who let them live life. I’ve been following this story and praying every day like all of us have. In my eyes they are True Pirates and i’m sure their love for the Water is something many people can only dream about. God Bless them Boys and their Parents for making those Boys feel like Kings of the World.

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  164. LOVE this!! It is so heartbreaking! I have 3 children and I could not even imagine! I have a 16 year old and wouldnt it be great if they did exactly what you told them to do all the time! I think it’s just crazy all the judgement being put on these parents and nobody even knows exactly what happened. I have been praying every day! My heart goes out to those parents! It is so heartbreaking!

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  167. You have said what many of us know , who have grown up in Florida, knowing that one minute the sun is shining and the next is a full blown storm!! I’m sure those boys, having been raised on the water know a hell of a lot more than some adults who go out weekend boating , and I pray to god that they will be found safe, I cannot imagine what their parents are going through without all of the criticisms of others , EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP POINTING THEIR FINGER AND JUST………….. PRAY !

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  169. I so agree with what you’re saying. As one who raised three rambunctious sons, I know the agony of sitting up worrying when they’re late. Worrying and praying every time they walk out the door. Hoping and praying that they will return safe and sound. But we never know and I was never a perfect parent and they were not perfect kids. We all do the best we can. My heart, my prayers go out to these boys and their families and loved ones. I still pray for a miracle.

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  170. That is so beautiful! God bless you for doing this. I am sure so many others have felt the same way. The family should be honored by your sincerity and love! My heart hurts for their friends and family. They see in our prayers in South Florida.

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  171. Prayers for the safe return of these boys back to their families! Prayers for these families to
    come closer to Jesus Christ during their wait! Prayers also for their waiting classmates! From the heart of Frankie Creech!

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  172. All I can say is Amen ……beautifully said ! May God hold theese families tight in his loving arms …….Sometimes God has a plan that nobody can stop ……

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  173. My heart goes out to the families. You can teach your kids right from wrong and to stay safe. Sometimes life has something else in store for them even when they are on their best behavior. I know. I lost a 7 year old and his two brothers are still with me. They were hit by a car in a freak accident. Its been 23 years. You will find a way to heal but you will never forget and you shouldnt. My son is always in my heart and his pictures in our home. I send out our prayers to your families in hope that you too some day will be able to heal from your tragedy. Remember all the good and silly things and it will help make you smile again.

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    • SO very sorry for your loss Charlee, no matter how long ago it was I am sure it is still painful. God bless and comfort you and I thank you for continuing to pray for the families of these two boys.

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  174. Thank you for this. I’ve been holding in much anger towards those “perfect” individual’s. I’ve slammed a few with degrading replies, but deleted my comments with shame. After reading your blog the weight of anger has been lifted and taken away. I choose now to only focus on the wonderment of Austin and Perry and the awesome young men they are. To continue to lift up in prayer the families and friends. Thank you again.

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    • So glad Patrick that the post was helpful to you! Thanks for coming to the site and thank you for continuing to pray for these boys.

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  175. To God be the Glory great things he hath done! I know for sure these sweet boys are in the arms of our Heavenly Father . RIP Austin and Perry. Praying for your families, school mates and friends.

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  176. Austin and Perry world has been rocked, their families world has been rocked, and all of us with children are feeling it. Our hearts go out to all. May we all pray, and may our prayers be answered.

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  178. so beautifully said, not an hour goes buy that I have not asked G-d to bring
    These beautiful boys home. This is an unthinkable pain no family should
    endure. I believe there is still hope, hang in there boys, they’ll find
    you , they have to find you.,

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  180. Glad to see there is people out there still will a heart and soul. Thanks for this message. Prays to out to the family and friends of those loveing boys

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  182. Seriously doubt thec parents would have allowed these boys to go boating without adults. Teen boys, however, have minds of their own and don’t always obey parents. You can’t be with your teens 24/7. These parents did their best to establish the rules. Teens don’t always follow the rules.

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  183. Seriously doubt the parents would have allowed these boys to go boating without adults. Teen boys, however, have minds of their own and don’t always obey parents. You can’t be with your teens 24/7. These parents did their best to establish the rules. Teens don’t always follow the rules.

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  184. A friend shared this post on FB. I am a far from perfect parent. I taught my child the dangers of crossing the street yet last year he was hit by a car running back across the street from playing ball with the neighbor kids. We were lucky! Road rash and a severe concussion was the outcome! Overnight in the hospital and back to school on Monday! I felt guilty that I should have done more to keep him safe and people would think I was a “bad mom!” Those near and far sent well wishes and commented that they understand because it could just as easily happen to them! Sadly what I found disheartening was the police report blaming my child! Someone must be blamed! I did not blame the driver. it was an accident and accidents happen! This really made my child feel responsible and bad for causing trouble! I count my blessings that we had a positive outcome and pray for a miracle to brings these boys home to their families soon.

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    • Dear Karen…I am so sorry that happened to you and your child and I can only imagine the terror and then the onslaught of fear and blame…Listen, anyone who’s been a parent and has eaten some humble pie knows exactly what you’re talking about. Sometimes, despite all our best efforts to teach and train them, kids do things (like run across a street) without thinking. SO glad your child was OK!

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  185. Thank you for sharing that, although I am a very caring and empathetic person, your words touched me at a deeper level, so again, thank you. My thoughts and prayers are with Austin, Perry, their family and friends.

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  186. Great message thank you for expressing what must of the people think!,Praying for the boys, their parents, families and friends.

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  188. Please do not assume that we don’t care about what happened and feel it could have been prevented. We care and we know that it could happen to any one of us. This is not about age, this is about tragedy that could not be prevented.
    Tragedy happens every day….if a person didn’t drive on the highway on a certain day, at a certain time, and get killed in a car accident, they may still be alive. If a person didn’t cross the street when they did at that specific day & time, they could still be alive. None of us know what happened, however we know that two young boys are lost and as for myself, I will continue to pray for their safe return just as I will continue to pray for the family. Bring these boys home safe…….in God’s name I pray.

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  189. Very well said. I am praying for these parents and the siblings. May god rap his arms around them. And bring these 2 young boys home where they belong. Comfort the friends and classmates as the search continues.

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  191. In defense of some of the people whose immediate response to learning of this sad event was, ” . . .they were only 14? And their parents LET them . . .?” I think that sometimes our immediate response to heartbreak is to think, “How can I keep this from happening to me? My kids? My loved ones?” And so we look at the bit we can control, “This won’t happen to my boys because I would never let them . . .”

    It may feel like judgement but in some cases it is just self-protection.

    And I loved your post. We may not want to face the fact that sometimes these things just HAPPEN, but they do. I pray that their families will be able to come to that place and find some measure of peace in knowing their boys were right where they wanted to be, doing what they wanted to do, living their life.

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  192. A tragedy is a tragedy no matter who comments, blogs, passes judgment, questions or criticizes. It stands alone in its consequences. Mistake or misfortune….preventable or inevitable….children or adults, the cost is the same. The price is paid by victims and loved ones. There is no higher cost or bigger price to pay and the consequences are forever…..long after the Monday morning quarterbacking, second guessing, judgements, “what ifs” and finger shaking. The truth is that no one feels the effects more than the boys and their families, yet we all feel the need to weigh in as if these kids meant as much to us….as if we have some obligation to opine for their benefit. Well they don’t…they can’t and our obligation is to support the families who feel this loss in the deepest way imaginable. These families are going to have to come to grips with an unanswerable “why?” independent of any other person asking. Human decency requires us to be there for them in their grief. Learn the lessons that must be learned, but support the families unconditionally.

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  193. Amen!!! Very well said.

    I pray ever day for these two boys and there families. I pray for a miracle of all miracles.

    I pray for the parents, families and friends.

    Thank you for writing the perfect blog.

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  194. I will continue to pray for the boys, family and friends. So heartbreaking for them all. Praying and requesting others do the same.

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  195. I have gone to bed and woken up each morning this past week wondering if they have been found. I purposely avoided reading any online posts regarding them, fearing it would be negative. I never once judged those parents. They love their sons, no less than we all love our children. Like I have just read in many of the well written posts above, we all push boundaries and limits every day. All is well if we get away with it, but we don’t always. Tragedy strikes and the pain is unbearable. Our thoughts are with their families…

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  196. I am so glad you posted this. I think the majority of people would agree with you. My heart aches for what these families are going through. They need all the support they can get right now. Since the boys went missing, the first thing I have done every morning is check the news to see if they had been found. My prayers are with the family, I totally support them, and wish there were more I could do.

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  197. So true! These boys are loved by their parents , this is the greatest gift of all . Let’s hope their prayers and ours are answered. For those who judge DONT. Let’s all be supportive for the parents & the boys.

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  198. Your words are Amazing, and straight from the heart! I also have never been in the “perfect child” club, nor the “perfect parent” club. We were working parents so were not always sure what our teens were really doing! When they are lost, none of that matters, finding the children is the only thing anyone should be thinking about!!! Praying for the safe return of these two beautiful boys!!! Praying for the family’s of these children to be able to find some peace!!! God Bless all of them!!!

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  200. THIS IS AN AWESOME MESSAGE
    WELL SAID
    ACCIDENTS HAPPEN, I’VE BEEN THERE
    WE CAN ONLY RAISE OUR EYES UP TO HEAVEN AND PRAY
    FOR A MIRACLE
    THAT THEY ARE FOUND AND BROUGHT BACK TO THEIR
    PARENTS

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  201. You hit it spot on, so eloquently said. I am sadden that people would have anything on their minds except compassion regarding the boys, their parents,family,friends and the situation, prayers will continue, and love for this family, whom I never heard of before this ,however as a parent my heart is breaking for them, God Bless.

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  202. I only wish I had been able to come up with such beautiful as I do pray for these two children and I pray your family get through this God is amazing and well some say they couldn’t have survived this long in the ocean stranger things have happened please Godson your 10,000 Angels hold onto these moms and dads and give them the strength I need to endure what comes in

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  203. I only wish I had been able to come up with such beautiful as I do pray for these two children and I pray your family get through this God is amazing and well some say they couldn’t have survived this long in the ocean stranger things have happened please Godson your 10,000 Angels hold onto these moms and dads and give them the strength I need to endure what comes in

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  204. Amen! I can’t imagine what the families are going through and as a teacher I have been thinking about the boys’ friends and classmates. I am sure the school will have a support system in place for them. Continued prayers for the boys and families and friends.

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  205. I pray those boys are found!!!! Look what they have accomplished! Their story has gone nation wide and caused a nation to pray! I know not the entire nation but some have turned to God that haven’t in a long time! They have accomplished more then most do in a lifetime! PUSH! Pray Until Something Happens! Still in prayer!

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  207. As a commercial fishermen I’ve fished many waters and tides and the strength of the sea that is so beautiful and peaceful at times can amaze us all … the only thing that keeps it in its place is the boundaries God set for it called land but it tries to overcome it’s boundaries and can be angered in the blink of an eye. …I’ve faced certain death a few times but it wasn’t my turn because I’m still here but I can tell you that the sea can and will swallow you without a second thought and that’s the same for the old and wise as well as the young and brave so keep that in mind and keep these children and their families and friends in prayer constantly and never criticize a situation that few facts are known but pull together on the known facts and let’s keep petitioning a God , our God who is capable of bringing these young men home and giving peace to all concerned. .. he made the sea and the storms that wander upon it … he made all and is in control of all and with enough faith and prayers anything is possible even the impossible. ..May God bless you all and give you peace beyond all understanding ..

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  208. This response is so incredibly well written. And it could apply to numerous situations. The bottom line is don’t judge, just pray.

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  209. Recently two young girls were in a fatal motor vehicle accident in Connecticut. I’ve had the same argument with a cousin who blames the parents. One was 16, the other 14. I agree with you 100%. These girls were me 35 years ago. I had good and decent parents who had no idea of the mischief I could and did get into! There are times when parents are liable and then there are times when they are not, when things like this happen, it’s devastating to all, and even those that mourn from a distance, like myself, because of the fact that we can relate, we have children, we know our children’s limitations, we know when they are on the adventurous side, and for the most part, as parents. we welcome their braveness and courageousness, never ever expecting it to lead them to an unknown end!
    The case in Connecticut is still too new to determine exactly why an unlicensed teenager had a 14 year old in the car with her, but to blame the parents at this point is irresponsible if the spectators!

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  210. I don’t know the families involved, but you don’t have to know someone, to grieve with them.praying for them each day, hope still stands.Blessings

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  211. I couldn’t have said it any better myself! I was one of those questioning the circumstances, all the while worrying and praying for those boys. You are right – bad things happen even when we are (metaphorically) “best equipped”. That’s why unfortunately people turn to the easiest thing during times of tragedy – on each other with the blaming and the “what if’s”. The hardest part is accepting the circumstances, love on the ones hurting, and even still harder . . . humbling yourself. Thank you for storing this article. YOU’VE HUMBLED ME! You brought me back where I was recently lacking morally. Thank you. Would you mind if I share your blog on my blog page? Of course linking to yours for copyright purposes.

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  212. This is a well-said and meaningful post. Only the good Lord knows the why, so we must continue to pray for peace delivered to the family that’s grieving. No one can or should judge another.mperiod. To the families and friends of these boys, May God bless you and keep You in His tender, Precious Care.

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  213. So well said! Not a day goes by I don’t question myself as a parent hoping & praying I’ve done the best job I could for my 3 boys. No parent in their right mind would ever venture to think they are perfect and always desire their kids think and follow as a parent guides them through life. We all know things we did as kids and never wish for our children to get hurt or be in trouble. Austin & Perry are kids like any of ours may be. They felt invincible and went out on an adventure this summer that in turn they nor any of us would have dreamed could happen. Like my boys, there’s times they are out and about, we cannot watch their every move.. So sad for the family. My prayer daily has been to find these boys and to ease the pain of their loved ones. This could be anyone of us any day just with different circumstance. May God bless Austin & Perry and their family. We will keep hope alive.

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  214. Yes! Thank you for putting into words what so many of us are feeling for the parents and families of these boys. I try to always remember … “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” We stand in support of these parents and pray that their boys come home safely!

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  215. Very well said. We don’t know what happened and we probably never will. None of us were put here to judge others. Those that do are either elected or appointed! That being said, I will continue to pray for the boys and their families. It’s a very tragic story.

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  216. Lyette Reback, I loved your comments. You are correct, kids are kids and at that age, they don’t always listen .Heck we as adults don’t listen ..I am sorry for all….May some of the thoughts and prayers help ease to know so many care….Prayers said.

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  217. Well stated and very much understand the dire situation these young men found them selfs in. I’ve been out there miles from land and on a boat that was on fire with no engine. Both of us trained uscg licensed captns and our situation was dire. Many thoughts went through our heads as we extinguished the flames. I believe these boys adapted to whet items they could round up and made the best of their situation at hand. My coldonances to all of the families and friends. Much respect for these young men who will hopefully educate if only one other young man of how fast mother ocean change change her plans it may save another’s life. Thinking of you all. Captn Todd uscg…

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  218. Very beautifully stated, I will keep these boys their families and friends in my thoughts and prayers….

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  219. Thank you for this lovely way of expressing just how I feel about this terrible accident . It seems to me folks no longer have love for one another and always want the hangman to take over , I will not repeat what you have posted just thank you for caring and loving folks whom you know nothing about except thru media . this is truely the Christian way .
    God bless you and yours ,may God help Austin and Perry “s family with peace

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  221. Well said i have two boys and trust me they are awesome we raised them in the country they have hunted since they were old enough to hooks a gun they have ridden four wheelers since they were five they have driven airboat since they could reach the peddles but after all of this training we almost lost our son in a four wheeler wreck that killed another child at age 16 they were birth doing what they loved it wad a tragic accident repeat an accident thank God above my son survived not without lasting problems but i have him but no matter how we raise them accident do happen and it doesn’t make us bad patents so Good bless this family and they’re tragedy praying for these boys and they’re safe return

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  222. What a wonderful post. My thoughts and prayers are for the two families. Such a horrible tragedy to have to suffer through. God be with them.

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  226. I agree. Every time I look at these boys I see my 14 year old and his friend. They could so have done the same thing. They are fearless. My prayers for everyone, the families, the friends and everyone searching. Most importantly prayers for Austin and Perry.

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  227. Thank you for saying what many who have been praying are “thinking”. As a parent that is almost 62 years old I can honestly say “I have not met a perfect parent, but the ones that are the closest are the ones that have children that bloom”. Our prayers continue for these families.

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  228. Well said. As a parent of two teenage boys, I have prayed daily for these two boys. I watch my boys and see the excitement in their eyes when they get a chance to do the things they truly love and enjoy. I can imagine these two boys were filled with laughter and free spirit that day. Their parent did nothing wrong, the kids did not plan on bad things happening. It was a very unfortunate accident where the unseen just happened. I prayed everyday they were not scared or hurt and would be found. That has not been the case yet. I look at my two boys and I know they push the boundaries and I know they have done things I have asked them not too. I have not always been a good parent, yet I am lucky to see them today. This has shown me to not take everything for granted, I have today. I am not promised tomorrow for myself or with them. I send prayers and love to the family and friends of Austin and Perry. I hope the parents understand it is not their fault. Peace and Love,

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  229. Growing up I had that poster with the kitten hanging from the branch for dear life with the saying “Sh** Happens”! It’s so true with all things in life & at some point people forgot that. My hope & love is with the families…….

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  230. Perfectly stated. This brings to mind one of my favorite quotes: Happy people don’t purposefully hurt others.

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  233. I am so sorry for the loss of these beautiful boys. I lost my daughter last year and I know that the families need a huge amount of positive support to aid in healing. My prayers to their families. Your blog was spot on.

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  235. So very well written, this takes me back to over 30 years ago when two of my classmates were killed in a moped accident. The mother of the driver grounded her son from using the moped, even went to the length of chaining the moped in the garage. he cut the cables and took it out. They got wrapped around a tree, and were killed. There was nothing more the mother could do, then what she did. Kids unfortunately will be kids, especially teenagers ( and we all thought we knew everything and a parent could not tell us anything we did not know.) This is truly a tragedy for all concerned. Prayers to the family and friends of these two young men. Anyone who is monday morning quarterbacking has never experienced losing a young person in thier lives. For that they are fortunate.

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  236. I don’t know either of you or your families, but I do know you are all very much in many peoples lives right now. Prayers are coming for all of you around the world..LOVE, S

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  237. Well said!! My prayers and thoughts have been with their families since day one and I hope they are found safe!

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  238. As many have stated before, this blog was beautifully written and speaks to the heart of where we should all be focused right now; loving, supporting and praying for these two families. As a parent and grandparent, I can assure you that these parents are constantly going over in their own minds all of the ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’. They far more than any of the comments from the perfect parents out there are being tortured by their own self-examination of that day. They will forever live with the consequences of what should have been a normal summer day, for two boys who loved the water…..May God grant these families comfort and His love through the kindnesses of family, friends and strangers alike…..

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  239. Thank you for sharing , Beautifully written. God have mercy on the boys, their families, friends & all those attempting to bring the boys home.
    It will be the strength of those families that will deflect these inappropriate judgements made by those who know not what they say or do.
    Personally, I can’t help but think they have yet to find the cooler, which could be saving them . Those boys are smart, they are likely still holding each other up until they are found.
    Miracles abound
    Thank you again for your sharing

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  240. Agree.
    the Internet has made it easy for everyone to go on line and judge others.

    There is no blame to be assigned here. It’s a tragedy and the families are suffering.
    It will never be over for them.
    May they find a little peace each day.

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  244. So sad to see parent’s go threw this, as I have and saw it first hand myself. Boy’s are boy’s and I slipped by a couple close one’s myself. I was also commercial fishing at age 13 and squeaked by. Take care parent’s and love them for ever.

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  245. Thank you! I have lived with a tragedy and ignorant people can be so cruel with their remarks. In their efforts to assign blame, they forget the children and the pain that the parents are going through. Our purpose is to help those in pain and make their loads lighter. I feel sorry for the people that cast the stones and miss our purpose.

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  246. So well stated
    These were two young teen boys being what kids are adventures and boys. How we lash out at others is so sad but cruel in situations like this. My prayers are God bring resolution one way or other for these suffering families and comfort with your peace each loved one.
    Hug your kids tighter and pray harder. No matter the age 10 or 20 or 30 accident and mistakes lack of judgment or just think nope I can handle this or that, mistakes happen but out of immaturity or lack of life skill or just accidentally but attacking parents who very well have lost their children just make you ugly cold and judgmental

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  247. Lyette,

    Thank you for such a lovely heartfelt post, which is on point. I was out on the ocean with my daughter and her friend from college at that time. It was absolute glass at 12:40, as I have a time stamped photo of the girls and how beautiful it was. We were snorkeling at Blowing Rocks when I looked up at 1:30 and noticed dark clouds, checked the weather app, got the girls on the boat and raced in. It went from gorgeous to horrendous very quickly. I can understand the boys being comfortable at the time they made the decision to go out, and not connecting the dots fast enough to get back in. Whatever happened I’m certain they did everything they could to avoid the disaster that ensued. I pray for their families, and all the hurt for all the people involved. May God care for everyone at this time of difficulty, especially in understanding the why, which we may never know.

    DocMike

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  248. Couldn’t have said it better myself! My love and prayers go out to the family and friends of these two boys.
    This is tragedy, a lot of people are saying its a waste of time and money looking for these two because their dead, but let me ask you this. What if it was your kid? Or little brother? Best friend? Would you stop looking? I know I sure wouldn’t, these families don’t even deserve this. So all who’s saying that needs to keep their mouth shut and think the parents read those and are hurting right now. I don’t know these boys or their families in anyway but I’m not gonna give up hope their out there somewhere.

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  249. You could not have said anything more true!! I was born and raised here and my brother had his boat doing the same thing at 13 ,14 years old. My mom keeps saying that could so easily have been us. I have teenage kids myself and I am NOT a perfect parent. I make mistakes everyday. It’s how we learn. I love my kids more than life itself and I am trying to do the best job I can, but NOBODY is perfect and NOBODY has the right to judge these parents!! I have been praying and worried sick about these boys and what their families have been going through. I pray everyday they will be found safe and brought home. I have seen more love and support in this town then I ever thought possible that’s why it gives me hope they will be found. #bringAustinandPerryhome

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  250. I use to live in Jensen Beach not far from Jupiter and I also have boys. My middle son and his best friend use to take out the skiff almost every day they were not in school or working and went diving all the time right outside the inlet. I alway made sure I knew when they were coming home and where they were going but boys being boys I am sure they did not always follow the path they said they would. Storms come up fast over the ocean and teenage boys think they can handle anything that comes up. I have prayed every day for the boys and their families and will continue to do so until the boys are safe and back home. God Bless!!

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  251. So beautiful, well written and so very true. we are not to judge or be judged because none of us Are perfect or the perfect parents. These parents will persecute themselves over and over and do not need anything but support. this is every parents nightmare and one can only hope that no one else will ever have to endure this much pain. Now they will need time to grieve and seek closure, purpose and peace. As a community, we should support not tear down.

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  252. Very well said, sometimes those are to fast to judge about a situation and don’t think about family and their feelings! I’ve been following this story daily and praying that those mothers get their boys back home safely, as I’m a mother myself, I can’t even imagine their feelings, daily heartache and what they have to be going through! My son and I will continue praying for all involved! ?

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  253. There are people who think they can take all risk out of life and want to punish those who don’t conform. Just Google “Parents investigated for allowing their children to walk home alone.”

    This country was built by risk takers who survived their risky behavior, usually males. Young teenagers ran away to work on seagoing vessels as late as the early 1900s. Jack London himself bought his first sailboat at age 12, became an “oyster pirate” in the San Francisco Bay at age 15, and went to sea at age 17. God bless the risk takers.

    I am so heartbroken for these families and I pray they find their boys, but those boys were just doing what boys have always done until the last 30 years or so. The parents’ job is to try to prevent them, but they don’t always succeed.

    I hope we will always have men of adventure and backbone in this country who are risk takers. It’s normal and needed.

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  256. Beautiful words well written…..thank you. My thoughts indeed. I myself don’t know them but have cried, prayed, donated to the rescue fund, and every day continuously checked for updates hoping to finally know that they have returned home safely. My heart breaks for the parents , families and friends of these two boys. I have 2 kids….one is a 12 year old boy. I have held him and cried, cuddled him, slept with him and kept him close to me. What these families have endured is unimaginable. There are those out there who judge and say mean things but I want the families of Perry and Austin to know that there are many who continue to pray and keep them in our thoughts. Stay strong for each other. God bless

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  258. Thank God for your comments. Anyone who thinks they have never made a mistake as a child, teenager or adult is quick to throw stones and lack empathy to both of these boys and their families. I can’t even imagine the suffering and pain the families are going through. As you said, it doesn’t matter how this happened or why. Bad things happen to good people and we all should pray for those two boys, their families and friends and realize that only by the grace of God something like this hasn’t happened to each of us. Thank you for stating what to mean seems so obvious and common sense. May God bless these two young men, their families and friends in the coming days.

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  259. I was raised in that area. I could have been one of these kids 35 years ago. This has nothing to do with parenting. I have seen the fury of these little tiny storms that pop up in the afternoon. I’ve been caught in them and I thought I was going to die, and this was in the Indian River not in the ocean. I just happened to be with my father and some experienced boaters/fishermen that day. And they all really thought we had a good chance of dying in that storm also. To blame the parents for what happened is outrageous. To blame the children for what happened is outrageous. The children should be mourned no matter what they were doing out there. They could have been out there getting bales of floating drugs and they should be mourned. They were 14. They should not suffer this fate for any reason. At 14 a boat offers incredible freedom. The thrill of being out on the ocean just far enough away where the land is so small on the horizon gives kids a huge thrill. All of the dangers out there are hidden to them – just lore, yet to be proven, like so many admonishments from adults. Kids are curious. We teach them to be. Like all good qualities, it has a dangerous side.
    I truly empathize with those parents, but I will never truly know their pain, as I have no children of my own. The community needs to show support, not shame, or blame, them. Thank you for writing this.

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  260. I have no children & I totally agree with your article. Kids are not perfect. Kids make mistakes. Kids disobey their parents. I did. I think back to my childhood & remember all the great things I did. Did I make some dumb decisions? Of course I did! It’s called growing up. Those decisions taught me responsibility, they taught me to be strong, they taught me to grow. It made me who I am today. I grew up on a lake in Minnesota, At 11 years old I was sailing my boat on the lake. My brother & I would take our small boat out to fish, By ourselves! I ice skated, on thin ice. Ice fished, snowmobiled on the thin ice. I rode mini bikes & horses without my helmet. I climbed trees, fell out of them, broke bones. We built forts, ate dirt. At some point, you need to let your kids be just that kids. My friends kids sit all day in front of video games, TV’s, computers. Austin & Perry were living life (The Salt Life) and learning along the way. That’s more than most kids do today. NO ONE knows exactly what happened to those boys but, where ever they are, may they be fishing their hearts out!

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  261. This is exactly my thoughts on this situation. I have stated this many times in conversation and reply on FB to people who seemingly have no compassion for the families and people who are close to them. I do not know either family personally either, but as a parent I cannot think of anything more devastating as to not knowing where your child could be. I pray for them every day and would say to never lose hope.

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  262. Wow!!! As a parent myself I am not perfect but I do the best I can to keep my teenage children safe!! All I can do is pray they have taken in and think about everything I have taught them to stay safe and understand how much it would hurt me and EVERYONE that loves them if something happened to them!!! As a parent of a 17 year old daughter and 13 year old son I understand 100% that children disobey!! Prayers to both of the famous of these boys!! I do not judge the actions of the parents of either but pray for a safe return of these twoboys that look very loved and missed by parents, siblings, family and friends!!!

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  265. Very well said….!!!! We all must remember …But for the grace of God go I…we all are subject to tragedies and these families need our support and prayers..!!!

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  267. This is the first post I’ve seem that hit it right on the nail. My son is a boat captain and is on the water daily. He has been fishing since he was 4 years old. He has been in, on, and around the water his whole life. It’s impossible to keep boys like him out of the waster. This is who they are and what they do. It’s terrible to lose these two boys like this but there is no blame here. Shit happens. I pray for their parents and hope they get through this without blaming themselves. It’s the last thing they need.

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  268. Well said &Amen sister! We are praying as one for a miracle here! God said when we come together in prayer he hears us! We are praying for their safe return and for God to provide strength and what ever the family and friends need. Amen.

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  269. I am a parent, not of perfect children. I am a grandparent, not of perfect children. I was a child, and not perfect. I cannot imagine the grief that this situation has brought upon the family. We all love our children and want nothing but the best. Continued thoughts and prayers….

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  270. Blessings upon these families! I am a born Bahamian, having lived in Florida and the Bahamas my entire life. Had friends and family go missing doing what they love, fishing,. I hope for the best for both families and am praying for a miracle. We love and support you…..

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  271. Yeah, this was great. Thank you for posting this. I have a step son that got into drugs. Last year he burnt our lives down when he came to our farm that we had just moved to and stored all our belongings in our barns while we were building and he poured gas on our barns and burnt them to the ground along with all our stuff and almost killed us. The town turned on us and blamed us. We couldn’t get anyone to help. People were and are still mean. I had to leave town. There is nothing worse than people making judgements on other parents’ parenting. One day there will come a time when your own parenting is being judged. Think about it.

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  272. Kind, generous, compassionate and thoughtful. We are all heartbroken and and sick with worry for these families, for these beautiful boys. May Angels wings be wrapped around each family member bringing peace, comfort, solace during this unbelievably difficult time.

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  273. I have to say as a once foolish child (who made it thru) and now the Mother of two….you hit this right out of the ballpark! Could have, would have , should have. I think every human being has it in their nature to point the finger at others and remove attention from themselves or their own, until the tables have turned. My nature is compassion…I feel for the parents, the children, the community and everyone else affected. As a former child…as we all once were, to be an adult is almost pure luck. Even the most cautious of parents can tragically lose a child and the most reckless of parents have kids that make it thru in tip top shape. PURE LUCK…could happen to anyone…anyone….we need to ban togather not knock people down. Show every human being that we feel for them! All you need is love….

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  274. I pray for these boys return, whichever way God intends for it to be. I pray for the families, because They’re going through a whole lot. I lost a baby before it was born, but it would be harder after watching them grow into there teens to take this in stride. Only God can and will give the families the peace they so very much need right now, and God is the only one who knows what you feel, and how much sorrow you have presently. God can have these boys found if it is God’s will, so say a prayer that God will help someone find them. My sincere and best wishes for the . I will keep you in my prayers.

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  275. Beautifully said.
    I don’t know this family and I’m not completely clear on the circumstances but I am a beareaved parent.
    Thank you for this blog.

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  276. Thank you for writing this! I agree with every point you have made. As a mother myself, I have been in anguish of the tragic events surrounding these families. I have been fervently praying for the safe return of Austin and Perry. Like yourself, I have been setting aside time in my day just to pray for these boys. I believe that God is still in the business of performing miracles. I will continue my daily prayers for these boys and their family. God Bless.

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  277. Very, very well written.

    I hope the heartbroken parents read this message. There probably isnt one person who has nade a negative remark about the situation that feels worse than the parents themselves!

    Give them a break. Show them grace. God does. Let he who has never sinned come forth and cast the first stone!

    Marcia

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  278. I shudder at some of the things I did as a kid and wonder how I survived. My four children who are now grown and in there 40s tell me things they did as kids that I did not know about and I shudder. You can not lock your children up until they are grown. They will push the limits and some will be ok and others will not. We can only give them the best guidance we can. I pray for the family of these boys.

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  280. Amen!! Well said:) thanks for having an open mind on the life of young people. We have all been there , sometimes people forget about their own youth. God bless those family’s. From Darien, Georgia.

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  281. I know the pain all to well..My heart goes out to the parents of these boys and everyone that knows the pain of losing a child <3

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  282. Well said! I think people like to find “reasons” or to blame someone
    as that is easier than accepting the scary reality that tragedy can strike
    anytime. The whole ” this would never happen to our family” syndrome.

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  283. Beautifully said I am a grandmother of 7 and I know they constantly say they are doing one thing and then do another. Trust is something we have to do with them they always push the limits. This was a tragic accident and no one can be blamed, it is all part of God’s plan.
    My heart goes out to the parents of both boys I hope they can someday find comfort in their memories.

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  284. Thank you for writing such a beautiful and heartwarming post. You are so right on. Our society and the media are always so quick to blame. My heart goes out to these families and to all families that have lost children. Those families deserve all the love and support they can get. They will be blaming and second guessing themselves enough for everyone.

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  285. God Bless you for standing up for the 2 boys families. You said what I have been saying. I usually don’t reply to stupid people on facebook. Friday night when they called off the search and some ignorant people on facebook were writing they should call off the search because that is our tax money I had to say something and I wrote a comment. What is wrong with this country, is people like that. We support all these illegals and other countries with our tax money and no one says anything but searching for 2 young children is a waste of money to them. Sick world we live in. We need more people like you in this country. My prayers have been for these parents and families. I am also believing for a miracle.

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  286. Very well stated. Yes I did things as a kid and didn’t even think about the consequences. These boys parents did nothing wrong at all. The boys were avid boaters from what I heard. This was an accident. Nobody could predict what was going to happen when they left, just like anyone leaving to go somewhere in a car and there is a terrible accident. You can’t blame people for things they have no control over.

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  287. The same day and time that these two boys were on the water, I too was on the water near Jupiter Florida. I was paddle boarding with my kids in the inter coastal waterway. We were visiting friends from Florida and it was our first time paddle boarding. When we started the morning, there was not a cloud in the sky. I am an extremely cautious person, so when we caught sight of the clouds we headed back to shore from the sandbar we had paddled to. Within minutes, the weather turned on us. Even as an adult wearing a life jacket, I was scared. I felt scared that my children were in danger. I said a prayer to get us to shore safely. I had never been in such a fierce storm on a glorified surf board in a waterway with a current. The wind became ferocious, and the rain was so intense it was painful. I feel blessed that we all made it in. When I heard about these two boys in a small boat on the vast ocean, my heart sank. There was no way they could have known how quickly the weather would change. My heart absolutely breaks for their parents. There is no place for blame or judgement, only support and kindness as these families attempt some way, some how to wake up and start each new day.

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  288. So let me get this straight: if a teenager screws up, intentionally or unintentionally, it’s due to bad parenting. A lifetime of loving them and teaching them right from wrong was not enough; mom and dad should have done MORE.

    So if we follow that logic, then GOD must be a bad parent too! I screw up every day – accidentally AND on purpose! His love for me matters not one bit. The 5000 year old instruction book he gave me – with TEN SIMPLE RULES to live by, several prophets, a Savior, sprinkle in a dozen desciples, some apostles and probably even broke out with the hand-puppets at some point – was woefully insufficient. He should have done more.

    Just a little perspective to point out the ridiculous…. 🙂

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  289. Thank you for your wonderful article! I’m praying for one of God’s awesome miracles and these boys will come home! I pray for their heartbroken families and I pray for the people making horrible accusations!!! God bless all!

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  290. I totally understand coulda, woulda, shoulda ! What if’s, if only’ playing over and over again in your head, what did I do so wrong, wasn’t I a good enough parent, didn’t I give all of me? I live these words each and everyday moment of every minute for the past 5 years now since my daughter Sarah-Beth choose to take her own life. You can do Everything possible to raise your children, things happen that are unexplainable, at one point you have to STOP working so hard at asking yourself WHY, it will wear you down and take control of your life, as you learn to adapt to your new normal…. I pray these boys are found, God has his hand in this and will reveal to us in his time, remember we are looking from underneath the canvass and can’t always see the WHY’s…. May God wrap his arms around these families and these boys and guide them to a path of answers and safety. Amen

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  292. This was very well said I have raised 8 children and still raising 2 of them. And not one perfect nor am I the perfect parent. All that these families need is prayer and comfort during this tragedy that could happen to anyone, unless you keep your children in plastic bubbles or your part of the elite perfect group!!! May God hold and comfort these families having to cope with this tragedy!!

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  293. The world needs more people like you in it! It can happen to anyone, at any time! I’m so tired of the misguided judging people do. They are so quick to tar and feather, yet they don’t think of any of the other possibilities that could or may exist! They just want to point fingers and blame! I cannot imagine the hell these parents must be going through, and I don’t want to!
    Thank you for saying what so many of us were thinking!
    Much love to the family and friends of these two young boys. My heart is breaking for them!

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  295. Very well said , My heart goes out to their families ,friends and the boys.If there were more people in the world like you the world would be a much better place to live in.

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  296. Beautiful words! When I first started listening to the reports, I will admit I was upset with the parents, but as I continued to listen and learn, I found out the boys had rules and boundaries. The reports were misleading as they usually are. I have to remind myself to be careful with what I hear in the media. There is so much hype. I believe the boys were adventurous and fun-loving. This may have been the day they wanted to catch a shark!! Who knows! Boys are so cool and strong and brave! If they passed from this earth, they sure had fun doing what they loved best! Now our thoughts and prayers need to with their families.

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  297. Such a sad and tragic story. I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be the parents of those boys. It’s nobody’s fault .it just is. Anything can happen at any time. And after the fact. What can you say. All I can do is pray for those heartbroken parents who will never look at life the same. Losing their boys ….. I can hardly even imagine life again

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  298. I can remember as a young mother living in Toronto being awakened very early one cold winter morning by the sound of a child crying outside. Half asleep still, I wondered what parent could possibly allow their child to be outside on this miserably cold winter morning.
    Jumping out of bed, I ran to my childrens’ rooms to check on them, only to discover that my 5 year old was missing from his room. At the front door I discovered the chair he had stood on in order to unlock three locks to let himself out. The door had locked automatically behind him. Unable to get back in, freezing cold in bare feet and pajamas, he started crying….
    My heart breaks for these families. Not being a perfect parent myself, I cannot possibly judge them. I join with others to pray for them, and with them.

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  299. I didn’t read al the comments but there is another aspect to this story that comes to mind as well. It is so wonderful to allow kids to do adventurous, boundary-pushing things. I am so opposed to the over supervised infantilization of kids, so risk-averse and suffocating. Certainly teach them, train them, loosen the reins gradually as they grow up, but do loosen them! Starting very young so they make small mistakes and build judgement! Let them learn, live and grow! Think of the kids who have never had an unsupervised moment unless it was at home in front of the tube, then they go off to college and are supposed to make good decisions! I have one boy and three girls, and it was very, very hard, and very scary, but you have to do it!!! We have adults who are complete children all over this country. Competence cannot come from being rigourously contained.

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  301. That was written with so much passion thank you I still pray every night that these boys will be found what a tragedy turning these poor people’s lives upside down I pray God gives them strength so sad!!

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  303. this resonated with my mother’s heart. maybe someday the facts, fault, or no fault–the details will matter; BUT right now all these parents need are love and prayers. these are their babies–whether they were perfect or not. love and prayers, people–love and prayers.

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  305. Good loving parenting allows children to explore and do adventurous things so that they learn to be the best they can be and enjoy life, rather than be ‘helicopter’ parents who protect their children from all POTENTIAL harm there fore depriving them of the glories of childhood and growing up.

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  306. Thank you !! Very well written and spot on! I am from Massachusetts the mother of 3 boys and 1 girl My heart is aching for these families. I prayer for them everyday. I would never judge them or their children. This is such a tragedy. God bless them .

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  308. As the aunt who stood by a lake for days waiting for a nephew’s body to be recovered, my heart goes out to both of the families. As in our tragedy, there were two males involved. I watched my brother-in-law try to hold his composure. Later, I heard him lose it at his son’s funeral. It’s been over 4 years and both parents still grieve in their own way. It’s not something that loved ones get over in a day or two, or maybe even never. Believe me, they will blame themselves enough. The parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, friends will all have unanswered questions. Their anquish is ON now. There is no OFF switch! So, please treat these folks with the kindness you would need in such a time. Remember, “but for the grace of God, there go i”. Money, social status, ethnicity, none of it can protect us from tragedy. That’s what it is! A tragedy. May God bless the one whose hearts are aching.

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  310. Beautifully articulated. I’m the mom of three boys aged 11-16 and I’ve spent plenty of to win emergency rooms and every day thank God for their safety. As the saying goes… There only by the Grace of God go I.

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  311. I lost my 19 year old nephew in 2012 in a diving accident, yes, he had been drinking at the time. He dove into shallow water and broke his neck. The sentiments that echoed through our community was that hopefully “these kids will learn a lesson”. Reducing the life a young person to a “lesson” for others is pretty hurtful. I remember thinking that anyone who has been a parent to a teenager or could perhaps remember being a teenager themselves and thought for one second that someone could not do something stupid that may cost them their life then they are either a liar or have their head in the sand. I did find some solace when a close friend spoke to me at the funeral home about all the “dumb” things we/she had done when we were younger and where the end result could have been tragic but thankfully was not. Teenagers do not have completely formed brains to make safe decisions, they take risks, they do not realize they are not immortal. You cannot protect them from everything. It is cruel to blame surviving families for a tragic accident. In a perfect world this would not have happened…it is not a perfect world. My condolences.

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  312. Thank you for your post. It is horrifying to hear what some people have said. This is such a tragic story. God bless this family and I pray to God that these boys are found.

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  313. Beautifully said, and my hope is that someone who knows the families will see that all the positive, loving comments get passed along to them so that they realize that NONE of us are perfect parents and words of kindness and compassion may be just what the families need right now. I wish them peace at this time of heartbreak.

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  314. My heart breaks for these families who have experienced such a tragic loss. As the mother of 3 teenagers (2 boys and 1 girl), my heart feels concern every time they leave my side. I could get caught up in the “what if’s” but what good would that do? I don’t want my kids to live by fear. I want them to go boldly and experience life. I want them to chase their dreams, and challenge themselves. Will they make mistakes, yes. We all do. My prayer is that God gives them wisdom and courage to make the best choices. I pray that God will protect them in all that they do. I pray that God gives me strength and wisdom to be the best parent that I can be.

    None of us are in a position to judge. None of us are perfect. We all do the best we can. Instead of pointing fingers and blaming others, let’s extend a hand and a heart to those who are hurting. I think that would serve them better. Who know, you or I might be the ones needing someone to show us a little grace and compassion one day.

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  315. Thank you for your beautifully written message. I would only add these two boys were the sons of wonderful loving couples who love their children dearly the same as you or I. This was an accident, accidents happen everyday. No one intends or wants them to happen. Please find it in your hearts to pray for these boys and their parents. They need strength, hope and love. Show them that they are not alone and they are not hurting though this alone. My heart goes out to these families please find it in your heart to feel the same. God Bless

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  316. I’d say this was parenting at its best. “Kids who hunt and fish don’t do drugs”. The parents should have made them stay home and play video games and eat junk all day.

    Prayers for ALL family and friends.

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  318. Beautiful words, I linked to your blog through Facebook and this was beautiful. God Bless You and you were used to send a message.

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  319. i was a country kid and how I survived to retire is beyond me. My parents white hair was from me and my siblings. We always meant well but life would get in our way. It has nothing to do with the kids or the parenting it is what it is and there is no blame to be had. My prayers are with all that are attached in anyway to these boys.

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  320. Very well said! A boating accident happened in our small town last year with teens. Words can hurt when we don’t realize how they sound. Praying for these families and friends and that those 2 babies are found.???

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  322. Soon after we became parents, my husband and I secretly formed the PPC club. You never knew if you were a member, only we did. The members were comprised of people who were certain they could raise our children perfectly, if only given the chance. Hence, the Parents of Perfect Children Club was formed. With a knowing glance, someone was instantly a member. Some eventually lost their membership when they encountered similar circumstances and stopped judging. I pray the number of PPC members against these poor parents dwindle in number and prayer warriors rise up in their place.

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    • ok, that is brilliant AND HILARIOUS! Thank you for sharing. Definitely not a member here (wink wink) and that would be awesome if we could just do what He asks…”walk humbly with our God.” In prayer. On our knees. Could be any one of us. xoxo

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  323. I would never judge someone else, especially when prayers are needed; I am praying for these boys and their families. I can’t even begin to imagine what their families are going through. Lets all be positive!

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  324. I am 60 years old, and I am alive sheerly by the grace of our loving God. The times I disobeyed my parents, and the times I was in their will have brought circumstances that make me lucky to be alive. I will never judge another parent, because I know what I did. I also wasn’t stupid to the things my own children did! We should all be on our KNEES for these parents to get through the days to come, and for God to protect our own as well. Shame on you if you think you could do things better! Lift these folks up, not knock them down!!!

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  325. Thank you for this beautifully written article. I plan on sharing this on my blog. As a mom that has lost 2 sons at age 24, I am well awareof the terror these poor parents are experiencing. I find it appalling that anyone would look to blame them instead of offering support .i stand by this family they are in my prayers. Thank you again for your perfectly crafted piece.
    Simmer Dougherty
    http://Www.agoodmourning.com

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    • Thank you so very much for sharing my article on your blog and may God bless and balm your heart in the wake of such deep loss. Thank you for sharing about your blog here too. Much much love to you my friend.

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  326. Well spoken!!!! Everyone is so quick to judge and make things up. These kids and families need our prayers and support, not judgment!!!

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  327. There is no one to blame here and the people pointing fingers should simply swallow their words. For ALL of us that have children, we know that despite what we say and wish, there comes a time when they will do as they wish and that there comes a time when our children need to start flying on their own and we as parents need to start respecting their need for a “little” more independence. How many adolescents loose their lives on the mountains every year despite growing up on the mountain or crossing in a pedestrian crosswalk on their way to school. My husband left the house one day and never made it back home, was killed by someone who ran a stop sign. Let’s face it, SHIT happens!!!! To the people pointing fingers, please find something more productive and positive to do.

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    • So very sorry for your loss Georgette and God bless you and your family. You are right…it just happens sometimes.

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  328. You have so many people praying for the boy’s. I pray for the families and friends , My heart hurts for you all. I am lifting you all up in prayers. My God hold you all in the palm of his hands and guide you in this time of sorrow. In Jesus name. Amen

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  329. My heart goes out to those parents. They have to live with the loss of their precious children the rest of their lives. I am sure they will blame themselves enough without others doing it as well. They need our prayers and support not blame. God bless.

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  330. Empathize don’t Criticize! When did everyone become mean girls and. bullies? Anonymity has made us a hateful .

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  331. Well said!!!! Mistakes happen, accidents happen. Whatever their plan was who knows, just have to pray for them and the families, they are always in my thoughts. God is good!!!

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  332. I don’t even know these families and I cry for them. What ever the reasons they are missing who cares?? Why does there have to be a reason? They are just little boys who have families and parents who love and care about them. I still hope a miracle happens. I will keep hoping and praying for them.
    Laura G.
    A Loving Person in Mami

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  333. I do not have children. I cannot shake my finger at anyone or blame anyone. But the person who wrote this little story, well said!! Well said!! Kids are kids and will do what they want. Mistakes happen. Yes, accidents happen from making wrong choices. These boys set out to do what they loved doing, they were happy that day. Please remember them that way. These families are heartbroken, broken period. They don’t need the negativity, but love and prayers. Everyone is human……..

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    • Thank you Jeanne for your contribution…and I’m sorry if at all in the article it came across as I felt that ALL people who did not have children were shaking their fingers in blame towards Austin and Perry’s parents. Thank you again for commenting.

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  334. Beautifully stated and true. And yet I feel for the people who make the ‘what if’ statements, too. They are desperately trying to control the uncontrollable, to create a false sense of safety for their own loved ones. And it is at best a feeble attempt. It is a mirage of safety that can take precedent over loving our kids and letting them grow. Over protectiveness actually stunts everyone’s growth – the protector and the protectee. And yet what parent wouldn’t prefer the stunting to the tragedy that unfolded her. Tragedies happen even to the best parents. That is the truth.

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    • Allison, you are SO RIGHT. So right. Thank you for contributing with your comment. Maybe some who dissent with my article will read it and realize that is where they may be standing themselves…in a feeble attempt to control the uncontrollable.

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  335. I couldn’t have said it better myself. But I don’t think the people saying blaming things are evil; I just think they are terrified for their own children and it makes them feel better to think that they are somehow in control of their kids’ safety; it’s a way to deny the truth that this could happen to anybody. Austin and Perry have been in my constant prayers since I heard about this and I asked everyone I could think of, including the homeless guy I see every day on the corner, to pray for them by name! I still have a slim hope only because I know with God all things are possible. These children were obviously loved and cherished. I’m so very very sorry for what these parents are going through. There but for the awesome grace of God go I…….

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    • Maria, I think you are right. I think many times our first reaction to tragedy or scary situations is always defense…like, “This could never happen to me because…” and I completely understand that.

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  337. Sometimes bad things happen to good people! It does no good to blame or condemn. I lost a 22 year old son over a $20 bill at an ATM @ 2am. He was stabbed 32 times and thrown into the river. We found him 5 months later buried in a paupers grave by the state. It was no ones fault, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time! Parents have enough guilt in their hearts, they don’t need any extra from “The Ritious” Leave these parents to grieve their loses!

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  338. Beloved who reads the enclosed. I wrote this earlier when I heard of these young men, and have added today and know that many others are continuing to lift the families.

    Loving God, our hope and protector of all humankind; bless those whose beloved sons are missing. I, along with many others have not ceased in praying and with sincere trust that these young men would/will be found. Lord, of life, be with the family and friends that are putting their faith in You. Let them hear good news. The agony and uncertainty of not knowing whether someone is living or dead is a daily torture. They cannot continue to move forward and feel whole when part of their family is missing. Give everyone the blessing of YOUR grace and that they may face the days with courage and hope in hearing of their being. Be with everyone during this unexpected event and may they feel the warmth of Your embrace. Thanks for those around the globe who are praying. Remember us when our day comes to a close. Shalom/wrh
    Homestead, FL USA

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  339. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. I pray for the boys and pray for the parents Thank You for the letter it was well done.

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  340. When a local man with ADD was convicted of negligence for inadvertently leaving his own child in a hot car, my husband cried. We did not know this person. He cried because, “that could have been me and one of our kids.” And it could have. He has a PhD in physics from a famous university, so you know he is intelligent and capable of learning, but he also had ADD. He cannot do three simple tasks in succession, and sometimes two is too many. We have been married for 47 years and despite constant striving, it has never improved. You cannot judge another person’s goodness and effort from outside.

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  342. As one of five chidren now in my fifties, I am grateful to have had a mother who allowed us to take childhood risks, swim once we proved ourselves reliable without supervision, ski in our little boat out in the basin near our home, and only come inside wben zhe rang the bell for us. We had an Idealic childhood because she let us live and MAKE mistakes. By the grace of God we all survived those tween and teenage years. Not BECAUSE sbe was a bad mother but because she was a great mother and was blessed that all our mishaps were small in nature. God bless these families as they conti nue to look for their boys. Praying for a miracle.

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    • Thank you for contributing with your comment and I hope when they are grown my kids can say the same about me…xoxoxo God bless!

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  343. I wanted to thank you for your post, it really hit home for me as I nearly lost my son a little over a week ago. it was posted on the WATE news website and you wouldn’t beoieve the comments that were left of there about how awful parents we were. People are so quick to judge when they have never had something to tragic happen to them or they don’t have children and don’t know what these families are going thru! Thank you for writing this post and allowing others to be able to read about tragedy on a different aspect! There needs to be more people out there that understand as much as you do!

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    • Oh Darling such big hugs and I am so very very sorry for your loss and pain. God bless you and comfort you. SO very sorry and thank you for sharing with us so we can at least be praying for you. xoxoxoxoxo

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  344. I tried to be a perfect parent. I loved my children and told them this 5x per day. I played with them, read to them. I never let my kids play outside alone, I was always with them to keep them safe. I didn’t let them roam the neighborhood. I didn’t let them play at the homes of friends unless I knew the parents personally. I set up play dates. I guided them, oversaw what they did. My kids are now 12 and 16. They are both socially awkward. The oldest cannot stand up for herself against bullies but takes it out on herself instead. She is in treatment for depression and anxiety and on 4 different medications. My youngest is sarcastic and selfish and likes to be in her room by herself. Are they this way because of my helicopter parenting? Nobody can know. I know I thought I was doing everything “right” and yet my kids are not as healthy as I thought they would be. YOU CAN’T BE A PERFECT PARENT, THERE IS NO SUCH THING. Give your kids some freedom, let them live. I didn’t, and I see now that it wasn’t the great thing I thought it was. Also, give yourself a break. Do did the best you could and you’re not perfect either.

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    • Kathy, God bless you. Much love and please don’t blame yourself. Those kiddos aren’t done growing yet and I’m believing with you for God’s best for them and peace and comfort for you. This is the HARDEST job in the world.

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  345. Good parenting is a mixture of common sense, a lot of effort, being conscientious, knowledgeable, and just plain LUCK too. So sorry for these parents.

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  346. I love your blog. I pray daily for the boys and their family and the loved ones. I currently am experiencing the loss of my sister and the heart ache and pain is beyond words. Even doctors make mistakes, sometimes mistakes that cost a life. We are not beyond life’s grip. Life has tragedies and it has triumphs life knows no persons by race, denomination, religion, or sexuality. Life is life, the good the bad, the just unjust, the right the wrong. I still hold hope that the boys will be found because I serve a God who knows exactly where they are at. Peace to the family and Blessings, you are not alone during this difficult time and by no means is this the fault of imperfect parenting- I can’t believe people would stoop to such things. By the smiles I see on the boys faces these boys are loved beyond measure.

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  347. I don’t know why any adult thinks it’s okay to criticize another’s parenting when tragedy strikes a child. Is it not enough for the parents to endure the heartbreak of the loss of a child without being publicly blamed and shamed? Like they just don’t feel enough guilt without us piling on?

    It’s not like we adults don’t behave recklessly every day. How many adults are killed every day in stupid, avoidable auto accidents? How many children die at the hands of adult drivers?

    Whatever became of these boys, I hope it happened quickly and they didn’t suffer but instead died having enjoyed the open seas and the feeling of adventure! I hope their loved ones’ pain easesand they soon smile at their memories rather than cry.

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  348. Thank you for sharing this. I made basically the same comment when people started bashing the parents soon after the news broke in newspapers and on FB. None of us is perfect and we don’t have the right to sit in judgement of others. This family needs love, support, compassion and prayer.

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  349. I was on the ocean by myself at a younger age than these boys. My parents were excellent parents. I grew up with respect, ambition and moral values that many seem to be lacking nowadays. At an early age i pulled more than 1 adult weekend warrior out of the water. I pray that these boys are found alive but if mother ocean has taken them they were doing what they loved. I know as a kid and now that if i have any choice I want to go doing what I love, being on the ocean. Sail on young men. It is the men like you that explore, succeed and make the most important contributions to our society. Sadly sometimes the price for your contributions are impossible for people that do not understand to deal with and they want to blame someone. There is no blame. Just remember most of the important discoveries, inventions, research and knowledge is credited to people just like this young and old. So don’t judge, pray for these boys and their families and thank god there are people like this in the world.

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  350. I shared your well thought out and thought-provoking comments… just because! I don’t understand why people want to finger point – I don’t know ONE SINGLE perfect parent – me absolutely included. As a single parent, I did my best and boy we had our struggles and sometimes still do. But through those struggles, we both grew and my daughter is turning out to be a beautiful, caring, loving person – going to be an Army nurse and is in her senior year of college. I am lucky. I know families who have endured great loss and tragedy.

    I can’t imagine these young men’s families’ current agony. I pray the young men are found alive, but realize that hope is dwindling, but yet there is till HOPE! I pray they are found alive. I pray for these families to get closure one way or another. Thank you for your kind words – I’m sure it means a lot to the families and hope that they were shared with them. I hope your thoughts make someone take pause before making rude comments, but unfortunately, most people who will lash out simply may not have the reasoning skills, or the patience or the empathy that is needed.

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  351. Wise words god bless you! I also STAND UP with and for their parents. My heart goes out to them. I feel like they’re family. Im standing strong in my prayers everyday. I believe in the power of prayer and i believe the boys are hanging on too. Wherever they are they have 10,000 angels… They WILL be found…

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  352. So very well said. These blessings that have been handed to us from God are really not ours, but His children. We have been trusted with them until He calls them home. Our parenting has nothing to do with that, when He calls for them, He calls for them. We do the best with what we can to protect and keep them safe, to feel secure and loved, and to go out and do good in this world and treat others with kindness. We educate them on life the best that we can, just as our academic teachers do, and hope they will take the knowledge we have given and use it wisely. Parenting is a tough job and we can only use the tools we were given and handed down and hope for the best.
    I have an adult son and a grade school aged son, every day I pray for their safety and that God guides them in the right direction when faced with a choice. I can not be there protecting them or make decisions for them 24-7, especially the adult child. I can only hope that they too take the education I put forth in raising them and make good choices. They too, are human, and make mistakes or poor choices, but that is all in part of learning how to move along in the game we call life.
    It is very sad that these two boys were taken so early, and my prayers go out to the families as they try to make sense of it all. It is not there fault, they were called home. The day will come and they will be together again and until then I hope they take comfort in knowing they are home now and will be waiting for their families arrival with open arms when the time comes and they too are called home. Life here on this earth is short with our loved ones, so take advantage of every moment you have with your loved ones. There is no time for the blame game, hate, and anger. Make time for love and joy to make the best of what time you have here. As my oldest would say; “harm no one”. This goes for blaming and shaming others as they are hurting enough and this only harms them more when people point fingers.
    Thank you Lyette for your post and helping others see what truly is important. Your words of wisdom, I am sure will fall upon deaf ears, but for the most part others see.

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  353. I know this family personally. They are wonderful and they are so responsible , that I would trust my life to them on the water in a Heart beat. The boys disobeyed and that’s the only thing that really matters now. Arm chair quarterbacks can sit back and say how they could have done a better job at parenting these boys, but the bottom line is that they disobeyed. They only people with control at that moment , were Austin and Perry. It’s funny, I listen to people all day, pass judgement and that’s fine, but have you noticed that when a kid drinks and wrecks his car and kills his friends, no one says omg, how could the parents buy him/her a car! No. Noone does. This sort of accident hasn’t happened in a very long time. Is it the unique nature of the accident that has everyone so judgemental? Regardless, two families are frantic. The entire east coast is helping look for their babies and I hope with every fiber of my being that they find something. Anything. If I were the parents, I would never sleep again. I would never be able to stop worrying that they are alive and need me. They need some sort of closure. They absolutely need to find the boys. Period. If you believe you could be a better parent, then by all means, be one. I will pray for you when tragedy happens and you learn about Gods gift of free will. It will be a tough time for you to learn such a massive lesson about control. Like I said I will pray for you. I just hope for your sake, that I’m not busy praying for Austin and Perry at the time. Your post is beautiful and I’m sure the family is touched by your support. That’s what they need right now. Support. They are inundated by tips right now and when they have closure, I’m sure they will be able to spend some time reading the wonderful writings such as this. This will help to repair their hearts. Thank you.

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  355. That was perfectly written! I have had so many say, “I would never let my 14 year old do that!” but I have been around experienced young people that can and gracefully manage a boat! After debating with some of these folk, they come to realize, “well, yeah, my kid would had or could had.” You are so right. All of that is beside the point. They were legal age and the parents are suffering a loss that could had happened to any experienced adult! Prayers for the family and the friends and students that are suffering this loss. My heart breaks for them! God Bless!!

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