This week has been crazy. As we were recovering from the #OperationGratefulNation project, it was the final week before Ryli and Bliss left for college.
One by one, many of their friends have been leaving town so there have been many good-byes.
Then there was the last day at work.
The last group hang-out.
The last time at youth group or at the Young Adults group Ryli attends on Tuesday nights.
The last lunch with so and so or the last chance to do XYZ.
And I find myself wavering between complete euphoria and total terror.
Ryli and Bliss have worked so very hard and amassed a small fortune which they poured into their school tuition this past week. Their full little bank accounts are now resoundingly empty. All those dollars represented hours of house cleaning, babysitting, working in the food service industry and all kinds of other odd jobs. I’m so proud of all the sweat equity they have already poured into their education and even more proud of the fact that they never once complained. I am super thrilled about that.
I am very excited for all the new friends they will make and the experiences they will have, the travels they will enjoy and the renewed purpose and fulfillment they will experience marching toward all that God has for them.
I’m even a little jealous of the fun they’ll have and the sweet town they’ll be living in and the beautiful school with incredible leadership and professors. Oh to be young again.
But I am also sad too.
I’m sad that it’s over. Childhood is gone. The lazy afternoons at the beach with my babies and the late night runs for frozen yogurt in their pj’s, the lacy socks and patent leather shoes, pigtails and misspelled I love you notes are done. I’ve enjoyed every minute of them under my roof and now all that loving, training, teaching, explaining, and praying is about to be let loose on the world.
Euphoria and terror. Inexpressible joy and great sadness. At any given moment I am between smiles and tears. It’s like I want to hold on to every minute of this week and then simultaneously I so badly wish it was over so that I could begin my new normal.
My new normal where life will never be the same. For all the best and good reasons, our family is changing. And as crazy as my heart and mind can go, I keep reminding myself that this is a GOOD thing. Something to be proud of. Something to be thankful for. Something to look forward to. But it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.
So forgive me if there are sappy posts this week. And all you young mamas, treasure every moment, because before you know it, you’ll be standing in my stead, dropping those preschoolers off at college.
*Photo above is of the LAST time we all sat together in church with our pastor, Jimmy Scroggins. Affectionately known as “Coach” by my big girls, he prayed over them before we left. It’s good to know the girls have a pastor and so many church leaders who love and pray for them weekly.