I went to boarding school at a young age, and my parents traveled extensively while I was away. Families of the friends I made at school had to fill in a lot of gaps. One mother who took the time and effort to pour into me as a young lady was Liz Moore.
Liz was the mom of my dearest friend Beth. Liz was beautiful, head to toe. Hair always done, dressed to the nines, and full of southern grace and grit. She lived by example and preached with her life more often than her words.
Liz worked tirelessly to help her husband’s business, her daughters with schoolwork and also served ministering to her church and charities. But the priorities never got confused. I remember vividly a conversation I had with her as a 16 year old, and in many ways it has guided me through more decisions as a mom than anything else. “Lyette (said with three syllables instead of two -“LEE-eu-tt” – because as a Texan, it really does take three) just remember, lots of women love to do ministry, but they leave their first ministry at home. Then they wonder later why the children don’t love church and refuse to serve or follow Jesus.”
Ladies, I know there is always someone, somewhere, asking us for something. Can we help here? Can we volunteer there? Just for a few hours? Can we please serve just once a month? Can we give a little time to this charity, this ministry?
And I also know it is possible to do SOME of these things. I have definitely served my church and my community. David has taken some of them on missions trips. We have served as a family to those in our community in need of help. But I always check to make sure that the service FITS within the time frame I can easily work through, that none of my other responsibilities go undone BECAUSE of said service, and that my children are not in any way put aside. Because you see service can sometimes be a clever disguise for running away from issues we don’t want to face at home, in our marriage, our children, or even ourselves. Serving can become a placater of purpose, a side street to sanity. I recently counseled a wife whose husband said at the holiday dinner table he was DONE (and he LEFT). He was tired of all her running about and ignoring his needs. Thank you sweet Jesus they have since mended many of their issues, but this man was ready to leave his family because of the hopelessness he felt in part due to his wife’s inability to say NO when someone or some organization asked for help.
This reminded me of what Jesus said. “The poor you will always have among you, but you will not always have me.” (John 12:8)
Perhaps I am just super sensitive to this issue right now. I know I won’t always have all my children under one roof. I understand that our days are limited to be together and so every moment spent apart had better darn well be worth it. There will always be the poor and needy, but there will not always be another Friday movie night with everyone. The Saturdays with nothing to do but enjoy a sunny day at the beach with every family member will sooner rather than later involve plane tickets and months of planning and scheduling. Ladies, prioritize. Enjoy every minute you can together. They grow up faster than you think and then…you can serve until you drop.
aprilwright says
I find ways to serve our church and community with our children along side me. I wish more families would take a family integrated approach to serving. Kids love to serve along their parents. I know not every ministry is safe for children, but many are.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Lyette Reback says
I agree April! I usually bring all or most of my crew along with me when we serve. Incorporating the kids is the best way to show them HOW to serve! You’re doing a great job!
kellyburi says
Love!!!!
Lyette Reback says
Kelly I know you guys do more than your fair share serving too! Thank you both for serving in children’s ministry and eternity has been changed because of the Buri’s!
Jennifer Hodge says
This is excellent, Lyette!
Lyette Reback says
Thank you Jennifer! God bless!
Liz Moore says
hello Lyette, this popped up on my newsfeed again this morning and I began thinking about the importance of having an open door policy to having your children’s friends come over. Being a grandmother now, I think back over the years when the girls were young and all the friends they had in our home including yourself. Some of these girls came from Christian homes, and some did not. Some came emotionally and spiritually whole and some came very spiritually lost and emotionally fractured. So my home became a quasi-mission field where I could support the girls who came from Christian homes as to family values, but more importantly witness two girls who were looking for a loving family structure and something to “believe in”! So one piece of grandmotherly advice would be not to always shelter your children away from not having friends who may not come from a Christian home. Healthy friendships are important but God may just be putting those little needy souls into your house for the purpose of bringing them to a knowledge of His live and saving power!
Lyette Reback says
I agree Liz. It’s funny you call it an open door policy as that is what we have call it as well!
Carrie Dzama says
This post as hit home with me. I love to serve others. My gift is hospitality and decoration and Fondant cakes that can take hours, even days to make. My problem is I cant say ‘NO’. I have done 4 Events in 1 month time. I always feel bad, change my mind feeling guilt than say Yes. I am than overwhelmed with haste and anxiety. How do I say No…Help…!!! LOVE you…♥♥♥
Lyette Reback says
Practice with me Carrie….N-O. N-O. NO. You can do it!