I remember the moment as clear as if it were yesterday. David and I had decided to homeschool. At the time I had four little girls and my oldest, Daly Kay, was six. I was organizing the playroom into a schoolroom, hanging up a bulletin board. Running through my mind were all the thoughts and dreams I held for my oldest daughter. The kind of woman I hoped she would become.
“YOU must become that kind of woman first,” a voice inside my head spoke so poignantly.
I remember the precarious way I was leaning over a bookshelf to attempt to nail in the picture hanging hook. I can still see the room exactly as it stood at that moment and I can even recall what I was wearing. This singular memory stands out in my lifetime as one of the few moments I knew…God was speaking to me.
Immediately, I sensed an entirely new wave of dedication coming over me. I had been a stay at home mom, and I had always taken my job seriously. I LOVED MY JOB as a wife and mother. But this revelation had me convinced that I must not only be serious about my job as a good mom, but growing into a better woman…the kind of woman I wanted my daughters to be.
Instantly, the enemy assaulted me with memories of all my failings.
As I sat down in one of the tiny school chairs at the little teaching table, tears and fear began to envelop me. Luckily, it was naptime and the children were all either asleep or resting quietly. I had time to go to the one place I could find strength…God’s Word.
Unfortunately, I can’t recall what scriptures I read that afternoon, but I do remember the strength I walked away with. Instead of feeling incapable, I had hope welling up inside. Where there had been fear, it was overshadowed by purpose. I may not have been exactly the type of woman I hoped my daughters would grow up to be at that exact moment, but I trusted in a God who was not finished with me yet, and I knew He was going to continue His work in me.
And after all, His grace was sufficient.
Moms, your God-given calling to raise up amazing children takes dedication.
Lots of love, and oceans of grace.
There has to come a moment when you decide…when you draw a line in the sand. A moment when you prioritize everything around the most important factors they must know/have/become as adults…and you set about making yourself into the best example of that you can be.
Forget your past.
Don’t even let it haunt you ONE MORE MINUTE.
Take hold of who you ARE in Christ NOW, and dedicate the rest of your life to growing up the world-changing adults that are right now the wee ones in diapers and gym clothes right under your roof.